I Feel You ..

I have always felt I am attracted (not physically) and attract people with emotional baggage, problems and lessons to learn. I have always felt it is my duty to help these people and find myself becoming very close to them. I am very suseptable to peoples emotions and energys, if my friend is in a bad mood I will become angry and irritated. I find it very difficult to tune out of others emotions.
More recently I have been talking with a close friend about life, dimensions, the third eye (I wont go into more detail here, Il be writing forever) and we even stumbled across quantom physics by accident! The more we have been talking about these things the more spiritual I feel I have become. We have discussed the probability that we are one counciousness and I have felt this very strongly. We have also discussed our reality that we have created is the energy of something more. Again, I wont go into more detail.
The following are experiences I have had over the past few weeks:
Very negative feelings around my partner (of only a few months). I am aware that he is living in fear, fear of being hurt or fear of losing me. This has made him very edgy (dont know how else to describe it) which in turn has made me very edgy..irritable..withdrawn. Which of course is only making things worse for him. Is it possible I am feeling his feelings? Is it possible for me to tune out?
Falling asleep, I often see shapes and colours in my minds eye. More recently, these shapes have been becoming clearer. I have twice been 'flying' (not in my body) through lots of blue cubes. I have once 'flown' through a forest. The other night I 'flew' through a deep black sky with lots of little white stars. I have also seen the shape turn into an eye on the last three nights. I have felt councious through all these experiences.
Looking in the mirror, into my eye, into my pupil. My pupil dilated and I felt, for a split second, a rushing sensation into my pupil. As if the energy, or a universe, or a dimension, or something unexplainable lies behind my pupil. And yours, and everyone elses. This feeling was very overwhelming and powerful, I was panicked for a few minutes after this experience.
These experiences feel like they can go further, I feel that I am afraid to let go. I feel as though I am becoming more councious.
After much research it appears I could be having lucid dreams, becoming spiritually enlightened and/or be an unconcious empath.
I am an ungrounded person, I am always moving, I am very unstable. The only thing I can say I truly understand and KNOW is that this reality is created by our counciousness as one. I must add that I do use drugs recreationally and for background purposes I am a 20 year old female in England, surrounded by ignorant people with massive egos :(
So I have the following questions:
Am I making this all up?
How can I tune in and out of peoples emotions?
If I have any ability, how can I use it positivley?
Have I experienced spiritual enlightenment? If so how and why has this happened by accident?
Do I have the ability to see auras?
I feel like I am more spiritual than other people, I feel more connected to our counciousness and cant understand peoples ego at times.....
Am I kidding myself?
I feel like drugs are helping me become more spiritual, is this wrong?
I read somewhere living in a fantasy world is a sign of mental health issues.
Is there anyone I can go and see? An empath for example, or someone that can see auras, surley they would be able to see if I have this spiritual energy I beleive I have. Where do I find these people?
I feel so unsure! I am finding it very difficult to explain my feelings and questions here, so any input will be greatly appriciated, whether that be your personal experience, things you have read, religion based ( I am not religious) or Id also be interested in hearing a scientific explanation. Even if you feel unable to answer any of my questions, I am looking forward to hearing your point of view on the subject.
littlemushroom littlemushroom
Apr 6, 2012