I need some serious advice...long story short, I was in a terrible relationship for 10 years and had 2 children with this man. I finally got the nerve to break it off. Within a few months after the break up, I met the man of my dreams! He was attractive, was educated, made great money, was caring, gave me attention...everything I didn't have in my previous relationship!

I moved my children and myself 3 hours away from my home town to be with this man. We had a beautiful home, great relationship, and great sex.

After time, it seemed like everything was fading away. He began spending a lot of time with his brother and totally neglecting our relationship. My children just seemed to be a burden to him. After a 3 year relationship I moved out of our house and got my own apartment (stayed in this town because my kids are in a great school and I have a great job). It has been over a year since I left him but still continued to talk, have sex, go on dates etc... He never came around when my kids were home because he didn't want them to be confused.

A few months ago, I found out I had an STD, he denied being with anyone else and I obviously was not with anyone either. I overlooked it and blew it off...I couldn't accept the fact he must have been with someone! A few weeks ago, I found out he has another STD! I have cut off all communication with him and he hasn't even tried to communicate with me.

I know you probably think I'm stupid but I am still madly and deeply in love with this man. I want him to change his selfish ways and realize that we belong together. Please give me some advice...I feel lost and he has made me feel worthless. I am trying to love myself and take care of myself but I feel so dam depressed!
brokenhearted7108 brokenhearted7108
31-35, F
7 Responses Aug 17, 2014

He is not worth your time or tears.

He is not honest with you and while there 'might' be some care on his side it will never be enough to prevent him from straying again and again.

You said yourself that he did not come around when your kids were around. Kids are smarter than that, it is not because they 'might ' get confused, he does not seem to want to deal with another's kids. You should look at that, one who cannot accept your kids should never be worth your time.

Lots of hugs, chin up, lovely. Show him, all of those silly males just how strong you are.

Love is not enough to hold on to a man. You have a right to feel depressed. But... he isn't going to change for you.. nor anyone else.. so... Move on. Think of it like this... One of those STDs is going to put a whooping on you and when you do find the right one... then what?

The answer is right in front of u, he's just going to have sex with others, do u except it or not is the question, and he mess with people that are not so clean... That's dangerous, sometimes u have to walk away

You can't change someone. You can love the memories and the man he used to be....but you can't change who he is now. Take care of yourself and your children. You don't want your children to see this (because they will figure it out eventually) and think this is how relationships are supposed to be.

Hello, great for you, for changing your life. But he is not going too change..you can not change anyone. You feel in love with him as was. And he can not expect you too change. Your kids come first. Sorry first red fland..You wise too stir clear of him..:-)

to me it seems you are blinded by your emotional attachment to him. i have similar experience with my ex minus the std. i finally called it off for good and even though it doesnt feel right i know that it is the right thing. take care of yourself and dont put your health on the line for someone who clearly disrespects you. there are plenty of good guys out there. id like to think im one of them:)

Oh no just because we love someone does not mean they are good for us. It just makes it harder to realize that the relationship must change for our own protection.
Go ahead and grieve the loss dear. Then move on