Momma, Can I Call Sue 'Mom'?I slapped a big fake smile on my face when my daughter asked me the question that ripped at my heart. I tried to hide the pain and pretend that my answer was a no-brainer when in fact I felt as if I'd been stomach punched. I'd hoped she couldn't see my true feelings when I said, "Of course you can!" when she asked me if it would be okay if she called Sue 'Mom'. Both of my girls then began singing Sue's praises...telling me about all of the cool stuff that they'd do together at Dad's since he'd married Sue. Sue had a daughter slightly older than my two girls so they were like stepping stones and they made a happy trio. They got to stay at a real house with a yard of it's own and they had dogs and a horse. It was waaaaaaay cooler than our little apartment.
So, I had to deal with my jealousy. I didn't ask for it to rear it's ugly head but it did. I was green with it but I did not have any intention of letting such a stupid, self-centered, useless, negative emotion color my life. After all, what is it that I would WANT their relationship with their new step-mom to be like? Bad? Noooooooooooo. So, the fact that Sue was so good and warm and welcoming to my children that they felt loved enough by her to want to call her Mom was a wonderful thing for them. Besides, I'd met Sue a few times back when Ronald and I were still married and I'd liked her. Her ex was a police officer too and we'd been to a few of the same back yard get togethers. I had to remind myself that her being able to enjoy a good relationship with them had nothing to do with the quality of our relationship. Sue and I never became the Bobbsey Twins but we joined forces now and then in doing things together with the kids. It's safe to say that we did become real friends.
My girls were in elementary school when Sue became their step-mom. Her marriage to Ronald didn't last forever, but her relationship with my girls did. Sue died a few years back and it was a tragedy to us all. I couldn't have picked a better person to be my children's other mother. Sue is sorely missed.
honeybit 56-60, F 12 Responses 3 Jul 3, 2010