It Is Relly How It Works

I have been having this series of mini battles going inside me for years.  I have finally called it out my demons and I are at war. This is something that I thought I could handle, time and time again I have been proven worng. Let everybody down including myself countless times. I have been asking for help and have been very carefull on where I have done so I feel really stupid say the words"I need help with this" I am well on my way to being over it. I told people to bounce today I knew what would have happened if i went out for a supposed "coffee" this morning. I AM DONE. I don't need anymore bullshit, even though nine times out of ten it's a choice that I have made the cause the problem. I have been doing a lot of reasonable annalizing and questuioning my own motives. It would be way more devestating if my kids got taken away and I got thrown out of my house. Than If i just buckle down and do what's right. I am now looking forward to this rough distance battle. I will win this war on drugs alchol and over come my fears and misconcepions on what happed. I have cried and been talking admitted to some of the things out loud. I am on my way to forgiving myself. FOr being mad at mmyself.

  I love my family it is enough for me. i want a life with my kids and greatgrand kids this won't happen for me. If I don't get control. Forget the drugs. Stress and depression anxiety all linked to SERIOUS HEALTH problems. I want to be done> I want to know the real REIA27.

Today is a good day, Tomorrow is a new day, not good not bad just brand new I want it to be mine.
I have found the right people I trust them and they trust and love me.
Today is a good day wisdom teeth out and all :-)
reia27 reia27
Nov 23, 2010