I Want My Life To Make A Differance In Someones Life

This is my life long goal: I want my life to bless everyone's life that I cross in this life. I want to help people restore from all this life has thrown at them. I not sure how I can do that all the way yet I have ideas but not a lot a money. But even now I give what I have sometimes it can only be time but I will continue and I will tell you why. I have not always had a easy life I don't say this to complain or for sympathy. When I was growing up my Mom was not emotionally able to take care of us kids and my dad always was gone working so by the time I was in fourth grade I was cooking cleaning and taking care of everything with my brother's help he was two years younger than me. When my sister was born I was twelve I was in charge of taking care of her my mom wanted nothing to do with her. There was not the emotional love in the home from our parents that should of been . My parents partied our home was the party house.My parents had orgies and did drugs and let us drink and smoke pot by the time I was in 4Th grade. We were never allowed to talk about what went on at our home so no one knew. I always thought everyone's house was like this till I got married. If it was not for our aunt or grandma we would of never had school cloths. Sometimes food, or even a place to live. I remember sleeping under picnic tables with a knife or in tents with a knife just to try and be safe. Sorry to say it got worse for my sister after I left but that's her story to tell. Sad to say I can't talk about it still with my friends I grew up with because I am afraid of what they will think and I don't want them to think bad about my parents or worse think that I think bad about them.

Then after I got married my husband of 23yrs drank did drugs and hit and was verbally abusive. my kids and me have had to live in a tent, or in a house with no electricity or hot water. We had to eat food from a garbage can for 6 to 9 months and have gone hungry. We had to live in a motel and eat at the missions or cold food out of cans. ( If I knew what I know now I would of got my kids out of this but I really didn't know how so ya I have regrets about that, I always wanted better for my kids.)

And my second husband I was only married to for 3yrs he never showed any emotional love no matter what I did. I couldn't figure it out till one day he kicked me out because he fell in love with his girlfriend.

I have lost everything I have owned three times in my life and had to start over but at least I have my life and I have my kids life's. And after going through this all and starting over and picking up the pieces I have learned material things in life are not the most important thing its life's that's the most important. I want to help people restore, heal and give them new hope. This is why I have a compassion for hurting people because I use to be one of the hurting people and I know what it feels like to go through these issues.
wildflower65 wildflower65
41-45, F
Jan 27, 2011