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And Here We Go Again...

I can't even tell you how many times I've purchased journals in anticipation of filling them with profound thoughts, poetry... things of that nature.
Always confronted with blank pages staring back at me. 
At times I've filled them with my then "brilliant" ideas only to tear out the pages out of frustration.
Oh how often I've encountered frustration with recognizing that my attempts at self-reflection were not honest enough, and therefore not good enough.
Other times, I'm scared of the honesty.  Being mindful has it's consequences.  With it comes over alalyzing every thought and the exhausting search to uncover sources for negativity in my life...all that's left is the feeling of helplessness as I'm bound to the emotional rollercoaster ride of self-discovery.

I've glanced at few "self help" books only to discover they're not for me.
I seek inspiration in gigantic quote books, a temporary fix.
Things of this genre tend to be way to cliche.
Individual improvement is just that.  Individual.  I don't believe other's words will help me find my moments of enlightenment.

So now I'm at the crossroads of trying to improve myself.  Choosing an optimistic attitude about it all. 
...
At least I haven't given up on me. 
sparrowminded sparrowminded 22-25, F Jun 19, 2012

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