I Tried So Many Times.

I kept getting foiled. Someone would find me and I would end up in the ER, having my stomach pumped, hooked up to tubes and machines. It took 2 years of attempt, ER, hospital, home and attempt again for me to find the will to live. I still get suicide thoughts but its been over a year since I have tried. My last attempt I was found by my mum who took me to the ER herself, and while I was there my partner came and sat with my mum and me. My mum took a photo on her phone of my partner sitting on the bed with me holding me. He looked so sad. My mum sent me this photo and I have it in my phone so that when ever I get into that frame of mind I look at that photo and see my partner and think about him instead of myself.
randomdriftwood randomdriftwood
22-25, F
4 Responses Apr 15, 2007

well my sister died and i realized my mom has a huge fear of losing me as well. i think that was enough, plus the medication and therapy i think i am getting better. i rarely have suicidal thoughts any more. i was considering going off my medication actually, but then i hear about all these storeies of people who think they should go off then get depressed again. so i decided to stay on. <br />
my mom is very important to me and i would never hurt her like i did.

I hope that can be enough for u,from where i stand now, that wouldnt stop me.I can get so depressed that i dont care about anybody or what i do to them.

that is probably the sweetest thing i have heard. I wish something like that had happened in my case. my mother was a mess. and even though i dont have a photo to remind me when ever i get depressed i picture her face and my family. and i tell myself i will get through it.

Aww. Your story really touched me. I hope that you are<br />
<br />
better now. If you need to talk anytime I am here for <br />
<br />
you. Take care of yourselfXXXXXXX