An Experience That Changed the Way I Saw Life

I tried to kill myself when I was just barely 20 years old. I swallowed fistfuls of whatever pills I could find and downed them with a bottle of wine. Obviously I survived; a friend of mine called my mom, who took me to the emergency room. I spent a week in a "recovery" hospital--that experience in itself is enough to make me never attempt suicide again.

This happened at a very depressed and hopeless time in my life; I ended a 3+ year relationship with my first love, I got kicked out of a school I really loved, and I felt as though my life was going nowhere. I also stopped taking my antidepressant medication because I no longer had health insurance.
When I look back, the experience is mostly positive for me. I had been depressed for a long, long time before this event transpired, and thought of suicide MANY times...after having been down that path, I understand now that I don't want to die. I really do love life. I feel like things are a lot clearer now--time has passed, and the depression has subsided for the most part. I still feel blah from time to time, but the sadness doesn't weigh me down anymore.
brokenxtooxoften brokenxtooxoften
22-25, F
May 18, 2007