Still Not Over It.

The first time I was ten.  Trying to kill myself with the hairdryer cable. Until everything got black and I decided not to give up living. Other times followed until today. Once tried cutting my wrists. Once tried to suffocate. But of course that didn't work. There were the absurdest methodes. I actually also tried eating loads of salt once. I just had to puke the whole night. So well.. I'm still here. Not happy about it. But I'm still hoping for a better period in my life.
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8 Responses Dec 28, 2006

I also attempted suicide by overdosing but ended up vomitting with terrible liver pain. I still want to be at peace. Be nothing. See nothing. Hear nothing. Feel nothing. I am in enough pain to suffer but not enough pain to hang myself to death. I hate this in between state. Living to me is like being in a waiting room when you do not have an appointment to wait for. Life is absurd yes but it would be much easier if it had an absurd meaning as well.

I give it up to u. Me I've tried suicide with exhaust. Then life continues. I still wanna commit suicide.

You have done a good job hanging in there! Depression ran in my family, and life circumstances added greatly to the already existing depression. I appeared to be strong and perserveered through every situaton, until I got too much on my plate with various stressors. Up until that point, I had been taking antidepressants and getting talk therapy. I wound up in the hospital for a week after attempting to electrocute myself. I had fortunately chickened out, for fear it would be too painful. I do know that in addition to talk therapy, an additional medication was given to me, and this has changed my world! I rarely think of suicide now, as opposed to thinking of it all the time like I used to. And if you don't have the money, there is help out there. You can get therapy at guidance centers who adjust the rate (and if you have no money, it usually is free). There are various community programs for medication, and Medicaid. Sometimes this may not happen overnight, but as we have "hung in there", we can do it again to get help. Much luck and prayers to you!

i'm still here too. i wish i could help you so badly but i can't even help myself. i hope you know that whether or not you realize it, more than one person is thinking about you right now, even if you have never met them. one of those people being me, you're in my thoughts, and i know you'll be happy soon. we just need to find what it is that truly makes us happy.

Hi,<br />
You are still here for a reason and only God knows of that purpose. I am glad that you failed at suicide because I would not have learned of the pain that people go through if you had have been successful. Please help me to gain a greater understanding of suicide by joining my group at: ( survivors of suicide). this will help me with my educational goal which is to be an effective counselor/therapist. Your assistance if urgently needed by 7-28-10 <br />
<br />
thank you

It is hard to explain this kind of thing to anyone who has never experienced it. The feeling of hopelessness that is so underlying your very soul and being. I hope things are better. My experiences with this is what keeps me on antidepressants.

I understand your feelings, I have tried to kill my self several times. But try to know that no matter what you may feel, some one cares about you and wants you to live. I lost my best friend when he killed him self, and it hurts me to this day. Please try to find some happyness and a reason to live, perhaps a pet or working with a shelter or scout troop? It sounds odd I know, but it helps me to know some one is depending on me...I wish you the best and feel free to message me if I can be of any help.

i know how you feel..i've tryed to commint suicide many times in my life..but the love of my life stopped me and said "dont give up on life, i believe that somewhere out there is better hope for you and i believe in you" sio i tryed to live through life..and to this day i still want to commint suicide ..but for a whole different has nothing to do with my life but what has been takin out of my life..and that is the person who convinced me to not commit suicide..he's not dead but he lives in florida and i live in texas we will see each other again in ,ay but i was takin away from him by my its not life that makes you want to commit suicide but the people in your life..just please remember that the next time you want to commit suicide becuz it will help..i told my friend this exact same thing adn i convinced her to just a word from the wise life is beautiful so dont waste it...