Cut

It was pathetic really. I spent ages wishing I could do it, but I never did. One night, after a day of feeling like crap and then having an argument with my mother, I went into the bathroom and used my trusty old knife to cut my arm. However, me being a wuss, it was a pathetically shallow cut, didn't come close to the ones I made just before I stopped self harming, and those ones didn't even need stitches. So, you see the stupidity?
Anyway, once I twigged it wasn't going to come close to working, I started crying and then that was pretty much that. No one ever knew, until a little while ago, when I told some friends on a forum which has helped me SO much, both before and after this episode - www.suicideforum.com.
I was only 16 at the time, so I suppose it's sort of excusable, but not really, lol. However, nowadays I grudgingly admit (some days) that it's a good thing it was so shallow a cut. There are still, unfortunately, many days when I wish it had worked.
kiltedmonkey kiltedmonkey
18-21, F
Jun 18, 2007