Over And Over Again

i have tried to end my life many times. the first time was when i was 13. i had it all planned i would store the pills and take them all no one would find me in time it was perfect. only when i came home from school my foster parents had went through my room and found the pills i got into a lot of trouble but thankfully they put the pills in the medical cupboard. so next morning i got up got the pills and ran away. i cycled 20 miles til i found a nice field in the smallest town ever. i sat taken pill after pill at some stage i passed out i dont remember much but the police finding me in a tree and taking me to hospital were i spent the next few days i got into so much trouble for it. then when i was 14 i stated storing pills again after awhile i took them but nothing happened but me been really sick for a few days then when i was 15 i done the same only i took the pills with some alcohol my foster parents found me and i sent the next week in the hospital again and then again when i was 16 i took loads of pills and was back in hospital only this time my liver was not working right they said i might need a new one but i asked could i refuse but it didnt come to that they pumped me full of loads of drugs and it started working again. i have many reasons for trying to end my life i have suffered abuse all my life and find it hard to deal with the memories and then been passed around families like im a parcel. to this day im not happy that i am still here but hopefully one day i will ........

binky7764 binky7764
18-21, F
Mar 16, 2010