Mentally Scarred

I, a girl, was never physically abused as a child but mentally abused.
I was about 7 and my family just moved into a new a new neighborhood. We had this neighbor who was a teen girl who babysat me. She had a boyfriend who would come sometimes and she told me was supposed to be a secret. They were really nice people and gave me presents on my birthday.

I used to take afternoon naps after school while she babysat me. Sometimes, I would wake up and hear them scream from in the other room. I was terribly afraid. I heard all of those screaming and I thought he was hurting her. This went on for a few weeks. I would get nightmares about it.

One day I thought that the noises could be coming from the radio or something. I was very curious so after she put me down to nap I waited about 20 minutes. Then I heard the screaming. I went to the other room and opened the door. I saw them having sex but I was confused because I did not know what it was. I stared at them for a few minutes before they realized I was in the room. They were completely naked and I say the boy’s penis. After that he never came back to the house.

Later my babysitter started showing me some movies where teenagers were kissing. This confused me. We never really talked about it. She probably thinks I was fine but I was having worse nightmares than before. I learned about sex at school at a sex-ed class and I made all the connections. I am in college now and I forgive them. It was just two stupid teenagers that thought their act was harmless. But I can never get that image out of my mind and I have intimacy problems with my boyfirend.
lifeisbeautifulx lifeisbeautifulx
22-25, F
May 3, 2012