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Middle Child Syndrome

Since I was 7 years old, I suffered from moods swings, depression, fears, etc.  Just about everything I guess.  I am the middlle child of 5 children and some thoughts that I have had are not OK for a child to feel.  I was always lonely, hurting, overachieving just so my Mother would notice me.  What I received was, `I didn`t expect any less from YOU`!!!  My heart would always fall when she talked to me like this.  I just could never be good enough for her standards.  I am now 50 and she has not spoken to me in 12 years!!!.  I have been married for 18 years and she can`t even manage to come and have a coffee with me at my home.   I am the only child that she does this to and I don`t know why.

She has used me as her scapegoat since I believe she suffers from being `The Victim`and needs the support from the other siblings.  She tells them things that I did (which I didn`t) and soaks the pity from them.  She even told me that she has and has been doing this for a long time.  

Her greatest words to me were `Your Just like your Father`!!!!

I Love my Father and he has just passed away this March.  Now, I feel so alone!!!

Being a middle child was so hard but she still continues on, I ask `WHY`???  Does this ever stop???  

Has anyone else been the middle child and the scapegoat with one or the other parent???

I would love to share your experiences.

Thank you

Rocky7

 

Rocky7 Rocky7 46-50 1 Response Jul 10, 2009

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I am a middle child who is like his father. Your story is similar to what I have been experiencing all my life. I had grown alone, I always feel sad, guilty, I under-estimate my self too much, negatif feelings had always dominated me. My mom is proud of me just because I have succeded my studies as she whished and much more. That's my only utility for her. She does not ask me my opinions, she wants to decide all for me, even my future wife. I don't have the right to say no, and why I say it, I hear either insults or accusations. I should be too stupid and nasty to refuse her kind offers, that I even don't deserve them. I am not a human as my siblings, I am what she wants to do of me. I have noticed, that her behaviour is special with me, she is treating my brothers with more consideration and love. My father has died many years ago. And since then, my feeling of loneliness has increased, as well as the fearing from the domination of my mother, because I fear her. I assume that your siblings are hypocrite with her, they show that they are interested to her but practically not. You should love her more than they do, but she does not realize it, because she does not deserve it. I am sorry, but after many hopeless attempts, I decided to hate my mother, and even my whole family.