They Thought I Was Crazy.

I have suffered from depression my whole life (what I can remember of it lol). After weeks of not being able to get out of bed my family sent me to talk to a psychiatrist, this lady was a joke...she had me draw a picture of my family (I was 17 years old at the time!) and when it was finished she says "There are no clothes on the people that would tell me who is male or female" like that mattered. After a day of "psychological testing" I was told to get my mother from the lobby so we could hear the results.

This "doctor" tells my mom that I am "manic-Depressive with psychotic tendencies" AND that I have a "fear of men".

After this I was put on Valium, which did nothing except keep me too drugged to complain. It wasn't until I was 25 did I find a doctor who knew from 10 minutes of conversation with me that I was bi-polar. I have new meds and although some days are bad days I feel so much better and more aware of my mood swings. I am in an anger management suport group because...well...that's another of my issues. I take things too seriously at times and it tends to get me angry if I cant make people understand what I'm trying to say.

I have also found that Dr. Phil and his 1st 2 books to be a great help in finding the "real" me.

BellaDonna2007 BellaDonna2007
31-35, F
2 Responses May 15, 2007

First they said I have bipolar then a personality disorder. I realize now that I have bipolar. Is there a difference who knows. I denied it for years. I also Have a habit of taking things too serious. I like Dr. Phil too. He always makes a lot of sense. I'll have to invest in his books too. <br />
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I always wondered why do I have this bipolar but than my mom does and I know my older sister does. It's pretty obvious. How far back this goes who knows. I've been depressed all my life. It's like it never stops. I wish I would. I can't stand it. I find understand it helps. There are a lot of people who don't except people with issues but I'll survive. Made it this far. People can be cruel. I have a lot of pain inside and anger too. Time to deal with it. This is when I usually get out the bible. This time I'll be searching for my answers online. How to deal with anger, pain, emotions etc. Wish me luck.

I was not properly diagnosed as BiPolar until age 36. I remember getting into therapy and taking medication, gradually facing my illness. I had tremendous resentment towards the idea that I needed medicine to "be me," and that the person who didn't take medicine was an aberration. At first, that resentment caused me to go off my meds when I started to feel better. That is a mistake I don't make any longer - I learned the hard way.