Living With Bipolar Disorder

I was diagnosed a year ago, my boyfriend and I broke up and my mom was worried about me since I lost a lot of weight and would always be sleeping and never ate. So she took me to the doctor and first it was just depression then after more exams I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Only my mom knows she refuses to acknowledge it and hasn't told my dad or sisters. I told two friends and they accepted it and stuff but they don't really understand it. They think it's just anger but they dot know the depth and that it's more than being angry. I'm too scared to trust anyone or open up because last person called me a crazy ***** and used it against me when he needed it but ignored it all the other times ... It's hard or me to deal with it, does it get easier? Will I ever be semi "normal"?
Ninja20 Ninja20
18-21, F
9 Responses Dec 3, 2012

Yes it can get easier. But you have to fight, and sometimes It get easier with age. I am taking a new medications called Celexa and Lamictal, and they changed my life. I like to tell everyone who is suffering about this medication because it helps the ups and downs of being bi polar. Best wishes to you Ninja20. Don't give up the fight. hugs:)

Thank you(: I'm scared my roommate will freak out when she finds out I'm bipolar /:

Hey ninja, thats awful your family/ mother is not supportive. I think its really good that you are accepting this tough news . You dont have to tell anyone. Its your business and people are very judgemental. I was diagnosed with bipolar about 6 year ago. I have had two full blown episodes, the last one landed me in a mental hospital for 7 months. The most important thing is medication ( taking it), getting enough sleep, and going to therapy. I found that group therapy was helpful. You are right, people do associate bipolar disorder with anger a common misconception. I have felt very alone in this it can be isolating. Totaly understand about wanting to feel "normal" but remember that brains are like finger prints- everyone has one but everyones is different.. You should tell your sisters , both of mine know and i am closer with them and their support means everything to me. Hope this is helpful.

I'm not close to my family. I think differently then they do and apparently it's a bad thing. They always try to dictate my life and tell me what to do

Maybe you can join a group of others with the same issue and discuss things sometimes that may help.....Talk to your doctor Psychologist etc to see what will be best for you.

Yes you will be normal I've had bipolar for 13 yrs you need to read as much about it under stand as u can try some meditation or relax videos on youtube

It doesn't feel like it, I am not on medication. I didn't want to be changed or not be myself

YOU ARE NOT YOURSELF !! You are Bipolar.

To be yourself you have to take meds and relax so you can be like other normal humans.

Bipolar is a Mental illness NOT a personality.

I always thought it would change you, like you would just be there

sorry that guy,,,,said that to you

sorry that guy,,,,said that to you

Should we lie to her ??

Lie to me about what?

lie about what that is the question ? he hurt her bad,,,and that really sucks

LOOK,your sick iwth Bipolar and you may need to conside the meds at some point.Mania and Depression is hard on the brain.I started getting aggresive at about age 46 because his Disorder gets worse with age.Lithium for example is Neuroprotective according to 2007 science.Lithium is a slat like table salt and you don't get high on salt.You need a kidney and thyroid blood test every 6 months and you MUST drink 8 glasses of water a day or close to 8.

With my psychology back ground of 26 years I say that your mom is just as sickThey call this shame and denial and she needs a therapist.She also needs a few books to read on Bipolar.

I've always had anger issues, that's from my disorder? I'm scared I won't be myself on the medications and ill be moving to Lubbock in a few months for college, I won't have my dr there

NO one wants to take the medication didn't you know that ??? But you have to realize that you are not yourself with Bipolar Disorder anyway.Think of it as Diabetis and you need insulin to ( MANAGE IT ) and so you don't wreck your brain or get in trouble with Law Enforcement.You are doctor Jekle and Mister Hyde when you have Bipolar and don't medicate it.Then people drink Alcohol because Alcohol isn't a drug.....right....WRONG and then they drive the Bipolar depression with that Alcohol move because you want to be like everyone else..Think of Bipolar as PMS for most of the year and when you are under stress.A stress relapse CAN lead you to do aggressive ,stupid things or insane things like gamble or some have unprotected sex.

You really need to go to the " MAYO CLINIC WEBSITE and educate yourself on Mania and Depressive symtoms.

So you asked if this is why you have been so aggressive ? Well,I became Bipolar at 12 and I was knocking people out when I was angry.I had rages and thought it was an anger management problem.Now,I'm not saying that you don't have a repressive and disfunctional family that makes you hold in your emotions till you explode either.Start a journal or see a therapist or take Anger Management for cognitive restructuring = coping skills.

If you don't take Lithium ( SALT ) which is like table salt then your asking for trouble as you get older.Bipolar people often end up in jail from Bipolar Mania.

FEAR comes from a lack of Knowledge.I'm gonna presume that you have a computer and a Library so start reading and educating.College could become a f....ing nightmare if you don't get your **** together....NOW !

If mom is ashamed now then imagine when you are wearing a jump suit in court.If she doesn't want to talk about Bipolar then she'll love reading about it in the newspaper.

Did anyone tell you that coffee is like cocaine to us.I drank coffee for two years and I became insane for 3 months in a Mania that made me lose 30 lbs.Then the coffee created __stimulant Psychosis___ and I was hearing voices and seeing things.INSANITY is fun and then I did crazy things and I have 2 cops at the door ready to arrest or shoot me.

They didn't care that I was Bipolar because they didn't educate the cops about Bipolar just how to shoot for the chest.....WAKE UP....YOU ARE DIFFERENT....YOU HAVE A DANGEROUS DISORDER.....THESE ARE THE CARDS YOU WERE DELT.

I've read up and I do know, I know the signs of when I start to lapse into depression or mania...mania is a little more difficult but when I realize I'm making impulsive decisions sometimes it's too late and sometimes it's just in time. If my parents haven't noticed I'm either really good at covering it or they just choose to ignore it, but I'd go with the former

I see someone on my own, well I used to, I went from seeing her every week to every week and a half to once a month or so and then with school I just stopped going. My friends help when they can but I don't like to burden them, I write everything down and I work out when I feel myself losing control a bit but I don't take meds

Sadly there still is a lot of prejudice against mental illness,people are being educated via the media but there is still a fair way to go,your mon seem to be in denial of the fact you have bipolar,she also probably is concerned about what other people will think if they find out,are you having counselling on regular basis to give you the support you badly need and are not getting from your family?your mum should get counselling too,she needs to understand your illness and also get support,talk to your doctor to find someone who could see both you and your mum together and help your mum come to term with your illness and learn to accept it and so give you the support you need and then eventually be able to tell the rest of your family,so they can understand what you are going through and support you as well.Take care.

I see someone on my own, well I used to, I went from seeing her every week to every week and a half to once a month or so and then with school I just stopped going. My friends help when they can but I don't like to burden them, I write everything down and I work out when I feel myself losing control a bit but I don't take meds

You need to see someone again,things cannot remain as they are and there is only so much you can do for yourself ,see your doctor ans explain to him that you need professional support,as for medications your doctor must be aware that you have not been prescribed any and must have a reason as to why not, discuss this with him also.Take care.

I refused medications because I didn't want to be controlled by them the rest of my life...as far as talking to someone it's hard for me to share my feelings. I've been raised that there is a time and a place for emotional problems and while in school or at practice wasn't the time. I learned emotions are a weakness while in the ring so I learned to block them out

This is why you need professional counselling,so as to learn not to be afraid or ashamed of your emotions,your emotions are part of you,they are how you express yourself and you should not be ashamedor afraid of them,you must feel very alone if you cannot express yourself for fear of crictisism,your family needs guidance in this area,but you need to talk to someone who will reassure you that you are OK and shed more light for you on your illness, surely your doctor will know someone appropriate.Take care.


re light for you on your illness,

1 More Response

The worst part of mental illness is the stigma, people simply dont understand us and think is fake. When you have a mental illness you never tell anyone or hide like my parents do. When I'm in Psychistris Hospital they tell people I am in a normal hospital with pneumonia. I am always lying, all the time to hide my condition instead of trying to explain one thing that people will not understand or respect. I lost all my friends due to my mental condition, now I just have my family. I am bipolar too, for years and so far it didnt go away...

Does it get easier? I've lost friends because of it, only a few know what is really going on others accept it but dot really understand...this guy I like is understanding but I'm scared ill lose him to this also

It depends, everyone is different, I know a girl that was very bad, crisis very often, very sick, but now it's been 2 years she's ok, about me, I am always in Psychiatrist hospitals due to suicide attempt, my case ir grave

I've tried a few times but for whatever reason never followed through...my mom doesn't acknowledge it and none of my family knows, they make jokes about it but never know how right on they're. I want a "normal" relationship and that isn't possible but I want to be accepted...I don't mention I'm bipolar unless I've known them and even then only 3 people know

I dont want relationship because no-one would ever lok at me, I am hideous. I just hate myself and want to die...

You will find someone especially someone who will be there for you and know you can't help it. It'll be tough but nothing is ever easy

DITO.....It's not the illness ....it's the stigma and the loss of friends that taint our trust in people.But I do believe a partener is out there for EVERYONE.

It hurts but I'd rather feel that then regret anything, maybe cause I'm listening to Somebody's Heartbreak by Hunter Hayes lol

Good grief! Ninja please do not take advice from retiremesoon. The last thing you need is for someone to scare you into taking lithium. I think that person is only identifying with themselves and not treating you kindly. That is not the kind of support you need. We are all unique and being bi polar is labeled behavior, that can be managed and delt with. All you need is will power, support and a strategy to help you maintain stability in your life and relationships. Simple solutions like having a daily routine, eating healthy, and seeing a counselor really helps. Think simple and think long term. Make small commitements that and stick with them for practice on follow through, because us bi polar people like buy land, then later have no desire to build that house that we planned on building. Support, Routine, diet, work and more support.

5 More Responses