I Thought That He Would Be The One That Would Never Make Me Feel Bad About Being Bipolar But Once Again, I Was Wrong...

I am so tired of partners who "don't understand' or don't "want to" understand bipolar disorders or any other kind of mental illness, seriously. You're "over it?" I'm over it-I GOTTA LIVE WITH IT! I understand how MANY OF YOU (fellow bipolar sufferers) are feeling because I've been there before with my ex-boyfriend and now I'm "there" again with my new relationship-the one I was hoping and REALLY BELIEVING would be DIFFERENT (and in fairness to him-he is the BEST man I've been with BUT when it comes to my illness, it's like everybody's 2 cents plus HIS put on REPEAT & SHUFFLE) ha. That "alone" feeling when someone is sitting RIGHT NEXT TO YOU is the worst. :( My boyfriend has already told me more than once since we first got together this past October, to stop using my bipolar disorder as an "EXCUSE" for my erratic behavior... UMM, HELLO?! It's NOT an excuse, it's an explanation-a medical one that happens to "sound better" and be more CORRECT than what I used to say before I was first diagnosed in October 2000 i.e. "I don't know what the F--K is wrong with me, maybe I'm just a CRAZY *****!?!" It's a very REAL thing and just because the person or people who have to deal with us CAN'T "comprehend", I feel like maybe they should be the ones to TRY HARDER to educate themselves to "better understand" where we're coming from. I'm "TRYING" every damn day to "deal with myself" and take my meds and TRY HARD to watch what I say and do but F--king A! I'm not perfect, this is HARD for me too!!! 13 years now and most days is a struggle, if you can't put yourself in MY shoes than at least ACCEPT my suggestions and READ some of the literature/medical info/other people's personal stories I find and cut/copy/paste into documents/articles for YOU-my man-who CLAIMS to LOVE me and want to be the ONLY ONE for ME! :'(
But he didn't read any of the things I put aside and bookmarked... He shrugged it off like no big deal...
deb4peace deb4peace
31-35, F
Jan 11, 2013