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I Battle Bi-polar Disorder

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By: MrBackwards
Written on July 5th, 2007
I have not received an actual diagnosis (and frankly I feel completely unmotivated to), but from personal perspective I'm quite certain that I have cyclothymia, with my rapid mood changes with are usually random and can range from hypomania to intense depressive anxiety.  I am very paranoid, have sleeping issues, and experience these bizarre emotional fluctuations in a similar style to my mother, who is bipolar, with the exception that I am often more angry and hostile.  This is sadly probably due to my father's side of the family, which has a history of narcissism.  Also I have been fearing lately that I could be schizophrenic to some degree, although I have no knowledge of any in my family I have (with increasing frequency) been experiencing hallucinations and occasional breaks from reality.  To be honest, I really have no idea what's wrong with me.
I have a question to anyone who would be kind enough to respond.  Does anybody with mood fluctuations experience similar fluctuations in their sleeping patterns?  Because I seem to range from insomnia to hypersomnia, which has been negatively affecting my waking life since very young.
Any insight...
By: MrBackwards
Age: 16-18 , Male
775 people have read this story

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2 responses
  • lesbowalker
    lesbowalker

    I experience the fluctuating sleep patterns, as well. Sometimes it feels like I'm always tired and I could sleep all day if given the chance. Other times I feel like sleep is just in the way of my activities.



    I kind of have the same story with the parents. I know I get it from my mother, and my intelligence and temper I get from my father.



    You mentioned the slight schizophrenia. Do you have conversations in your head as well? I have these conversations with imaginary people. It's not like I can't control it or it controls me, meaning it's nowhere near the level of actual schizophrenics. But the conversations feel very natural, as if I'm actually conversing with someone outside of me.

    Jul 13, 2009
    1 like
  • brujis
    brujis

    Yes, my mood fluctuations affect my sleeping patterns. When I am excited, which sometimes leads to mania, I feel super energetic like I can go, go, go and I don't sleep. I go on like that for a few days until I crash.



    During my depressions, I sleep so much, especially with the drowsiness affects of the medications. I'm useless without the stimulating effects of Adderall.

    Aug 14, 2007
    1 like