My Experience

Most of my life I was depressed. I started going to counseling a the age of 4. I was NEVER happy and throughout my teen years wanted to die everyday. I hated myself and my life, I had no goals or ambitions and became a heavy drug user. Every once in a while I would have a manic episode that would last for two weeks or so and I wouldn't be able to sleep without taking a bunch of downers and drinkin' a lot. As I got older the manic episodes became more predominant. Once I started taking Lamictal, my depression disappeared. Being prescribed that drug is one of the best things that has ever happened in my life.
     My last manic episode started in September of 2006 and it was the worst one ever. I became so absent-minded, I couldn't finish a task, I had so many thoughts racing through my head. I would be doing so many things at once. One time I had 7 tabs open on my browser, was reading 2 books, playing a Nintendo game, cooking lunch, doing the dishes and watching TV all at once. And that's not an exaggeration, either.
     This episode got worse and worse. It became frightening. It was like there was an electricity running through my body, so fierce that my body would shake. My mental disorder had become very physical. I had to be hospitalized and heavily sedated. One week later I asked my husband to marry me and we went to the courthouse! You make rash and impulsive decisions when you are manic. Thankfully, it turned out to be the BEST thing I ever did.
SWATgirl SWATgirl
26-30, F
2 Responses Jul 12, 2007

I hope all is well with you and your family as your post was bCK IN 2007 AND i AM JUST READING IT NOW

It is hard to explain the energy of mania. I was awake for days at a stretch, a tornado of non-stop activities, totally unrelated, all of them equally intense.