I Hope This Inspires You

In everyone's life, there is struggles. We have hardships and slumps.
We feel like it's the worst day of our lives, and yet here we are three
weeks later, feeling the same thing. There's always a worse day.
There's another day in the future when everything will seem to go wrong
and it will surely be, "The worst day ever." When nothing else could
make your life worse it suddenly...will. We can not predict the future
and we can not change our past or let it hold us back from what is to
come. There is one thing we can always do..act on the present. What's
been done has been done. We can learn from EVERYTHING. We can prevent
horrible mistakes from happening again. I live life without regret.
It's harder to let go and move on from something you regret. But you
can forgive yourself from a mistake.



I've lived a busy life for only being 23. I've traveled parts of the
world and seen things that a lot of people my age never will. I have
experienced life in ways that many have not even imagined. I have taken
risks and I have taken several falls throughout my few years. But I am
a fighter. I will not give up again. I have been to the bottom of the
pit, and walked the line of life and death. I ran away and denied my weaknesses for years, until they caught up to me and I had no choice but to succumb or fight back. I was ready to give in. I had nothing left to offer and nothing left to give
but my life. I have faced my demons with open arms. Over the course of 2 nights in solitary confinement and 2 weeks in a Psych Ward...I overcame weakness and used it as strength. I walked into that building...a hollow shell handcuffed to darkness. I left my carapace on the 4th floor as I walked out of that building into my new life.



I have learned so much and have become a greater person from the
mistakes that I've made. Some may look down on me for what I've done to
myself or others around me. But now I know what it's like to be on your
last leg. I know what it is like to give up...and I will never give up
again. I am reminded daily of the mistakes I have made. These scars are
not a failure of my past, but a reason for a future. We can not live in
the past. We must live in the now, live today, and live for tomorrow.
We must fight pressing forward for better times ahead.



If you read this post and took nothing from it. Then all I want you to consider is this:



Never lose sight of your future...and you'll never lose from life.



-Spyder-
Spyderz Spyderz
26-30, M
2 Responses Feb 10, 2009

If you check yourself in, like I did, it's voluntary. Which means you can check yourself out whenever you want. If it gets so bad that you are forced there, then you are at the mercy of your doctors. I chose to stay until me and my doctors were comfortable with my release. It just took me 2 weeks. :/ I spent 2 nights in solitary confinement, voluntary again because I did not feel I was safe from myself in my room, and honestly...I think the fact that I recognized my issues and knew that I had a problem, was the biggest stepping stone in the right direction to getting help.

i liked reading your story i myself have dealt with the pain of scars, both real and mentally, but i cant seem to find the way out....i want to check myself into a place but am scared, that i will never get out