Being In Control

I am bipolar.  I am not on any medications.  This is important to me.  I love to feel, even the extremes.  Everyday is hard.  But I refuse to be controlled by a disease.  I lost control of my emotions many years ago.  I have taken back control of how I react to the emotions.  Today I am depressed.  But I got out of bed, made my daughter breakfast, reached out to others like me on my blog, twitter, facebook, and a few forums.  I started a list of chores to do, errands to run, and am figuring out what I can do before I have to get ready for work.  I very well may not do anything on my lists.  But I have a supportive husband to delegate to, so some of it will get done.  Today I woke up, and moved, despite the depression. 
knutmeg knutmeg
31-35, F
1 Response Jul 22, 2010

It is wonderful that you have a bipolar condition that doesn't require medication. The majority of bipolars run into situations that are life threatening, to themselves and/or others without meds. In a support group, I met many who suffered such deep depression they attempted suicide; I actually have no serious problem with depression. My situations deal with mania which spiral into psychosis. You can't deal with psychosis with will power. I did not run into real problems until I was 50 and at that age, doctors had a difficult time making a diagnosis as I had had several years free of 'episodes'. A warning to bipolars who think they're out of the woods and finally have their condition under control--until you die you really can't be sure of 'cure'. For me, there will probably be no cure (unless medical science comes up with a miracle) and I will continue to take meds to control my out-of-control brain. It's far better than it was in the 'old days' when a lobotomy was a common cure. If you meet me, you wouldn't know I was bipolar. I would have to inform you. I'm not overly medicated. I'm now retired, but for years was an executive secretary and raised 4 beautiful children. For one, I thank God for medications that allow me to stay out of mental hospitals and prison--I almost ended up there in 1995 because of psychosis. You are very fortunate to get by as you do. Bless you.