Constant Struggle

I was diagnosed with Bi-polar disorder type II when I was 19 years old. I had a delusion that someone was out to kill me and during this time I slept maybe 5 or 6 hours in a week. I would stay awake at night and watch the windows and the doors for shadows and movement and whenever I did fall asleep I would have vivid nightmares about being chased by someone with a knife. I was diagnosed and put on several meds, I have been on just about everything out there,ugh! I have had one suicide attempt which I call my (desperate cry for help) and I have also had one voluntary hospitalization. I have cut, consumed copious amounts illegal drugs, and disgusting amounts of alcohol to "escape and deal" with my symptoms. I am currently on meds and in therapy weekly which has been my life saver (the therapy), my therapist is the best I have ever had and I have actually made progress.
SashaSJ SashaSJ
31-35, F
Jun 1, 2012