Internal Or External ?

i understand i am bummed a lot, or even depressed. anxiety has always been a part of my life. even as a kid i never knew what the future would hold and that scared me. does waiting for something to happen cause anxiety ? does wishing things could be better cause depression ? do they feed each other ? how can someone whom you have spent your entire adult life married to all of a sudden think they have no effect on your mood ? why do i have an effect on her mood ? if her actions are not supposed to effect me then my actions should not effect her. seems logical ? understanding the source of my anxiety and depression may help me to alieviate some of it. the meds seem to really take the edge off, but today was overwelming and i cried. i have not done that since beginning the meds. the feelings are still there just supressed a little i guess. i am attempting to become an emotionally stronger  person. i pray a lot for strength and to endure this trial i am undergoing.

grogorthox grogorthox
31-35, M
Feb 20, 2010