how do i stop the pain of loosing my father? he died when i was 4 i am 24 but i am still in so much pain, i dont want to commit suicide but i feel like that is the only way i can stop the pain. please help me i dont know what to do.
phofs phofs
4 Responses Jul 14, 2010

I will add my experience to yours as it is similar Mine died at when I was 8 Now i'm 52.<br />
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The main point here that I want to stress t you is Caution !!! There are believe it or not People even on this site Who want to hurt and not help U Heal, Guess who thier father is?<br />
I felt the same way U did until age 30 something I couldn"t even have a Conversation or Listen to some one who knew him,They"d come up to me with sincerity and saying things such as your so on and so forhs Son, I just Loved him so much and then they"d go on and on and on.till I Couldn"t take it anymore and run away to be by Myself and Cry!<br />
This happened into my 30"s<br />
Plese Don"t blame GOD for it as I did!!!! It might be a Learning experience from him before you go to a next level or it might be from the Enemy,I can"t say, but the person that said stop looking in the coffin/past is right about that, Look to the Possitive in Life, the pain does eventually heal,and if you haven"t Blamed GOD as I did,that may not be the path U want to take!!!!<br />
If your Dad was a Loving kind sort of GUY it would be probably tearing him up and he would want to see that stop!!! may GOD take all your pain from you in a quick fassion!!! I hope what I said helped in some way!!!

A four year old, looks into the coffin and sees his father's lifeless body. How old is the father? How old is the son today? Twenty-four you say? Father's want their sons to out live them and surpass the expectations of the world. Death wants us to plummet deep into the abyss. We stand on that tight rope across the abyss seeing on sides, no bottom and wonder which way do I go to reach something solid, something of substance?<br />
There are many ways to get to where you need to be, to establish enough balance in your life to cross the rope and feel that it is firm and real. Two have been mentioned above. I do not argue. Whicle considering your possibilities, do your best to safe guard the happiness of that four year old. Why do you let him contnue to stare into the coffin? Why do you keep him from running in the fields? Can that little boy escape? Your memory has him trapped in front of death. You need to see him at play. You need to remember his happiness and what helped him become four years old. He learned to walk and talk and feed himself in those four years. It is that child who feeds you now, when, he needs you to feed him. Be gentle and walk with him away from the coffin and find a favorite resting place. Speak to the child and listen to what he says his dreams about becoming a man are. He loves you. He has always wanted the best for you. He, the little four year old has for you what you look for, your life. Unfold the dreams of this child and you can become what you seek, with or without the counsel of me or anyone else; with or without medication. Do talk face to face with someone of your choosing and consider all that needs to be considered. That boy is counting on you to get on with his dream of being a man.

Go to your doc and get on antidepressants. You can get them from your general practitioner; just describe your symptoms. Don't listen to all the anti-antidepressant hype! They can be a life saver. Zoloft was for me. You don't have to live like that.

I'm sorry you lost your father at such a young age. I lost my grandma who was like a mother to me when I was 7. For the most part I am at peace but sometimes I get sad when I think of her or when her birthday comes. Since after so many years you are still in so much pain maybe you should seek counselling to help you with this. I'm not saying its not natural to never get over the loss of a parent but living everyday with so much sadness is no way to live. I doubt anyone completely gets over something like that.