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I Am Stuck Here

I feel sometimes like I am stuck in this depression . I get sad and don't want to get out of bed, I don't eat or sleep well and I sit and dwell on the awful things in my life. I think of all the evil things in the world and what has happened to friends.  I am lonely but yet I don't reach out to others like I know I should. I have one friend I talk to but I hate to bother her , yet I find myself doing it any way.   I feel like compared to her I have no reason to hurt or complain.  I also know I want that significant love from a man . I am such a mess. I pray every day and night for God to send me a man who I can relate with and not feel like he is a liar and a manipulative jerk.  yet I know he  wants me to open my heart and get over it . How do you argue with God ? Only I would be that obsinant and prideful. I pray he forgive me for the way I am .
deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Mar 20, 2011

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This sounds EXACTLY like what is going on with me. It truly is hard to let someone close to you after being lied to and manipulated so much in the past.