I Battle Depression and Anxiety
Hi there,
I've been suffering a viscious circle of depression and anxiety since I was 16. Alhough I have a lot to be thankful for in my life, at the moment I'm going through a bad spell of depression. When I feel depressed like this, my feelings eclipse all the good things in my life so it seems that they are irrelevant. All I can focus on is trying to stop feeling this way. My mind goes into overdrive trying to think my way out of how I feel, which never works. I sometimes stay up all night googling, trying to find information which might help me. Sometimes, I stumble across things which look helpful, like this forum, for instance. It is comforting to know that other people feel the same way and that I'm not alone.
I have tried cognitive behaviour therapy with 2 different therapists and I have been on and off medication for the last 12 years. It seems that I'm better off being on the meds. At least I feel like I can cope with everyday things when I've been taking them. I'm also doing a meditation course at the moment, and though it's very early stages, I think there might be something in it. It takes real discipline and hard work to observe your feelings, rather than being sucked in by them and ruled by them. I'm not even nearly there yet, but I think it's my last option when all else has failed. I have lost faith in therapy and I believe that change really must come from within. It's a lonely journey.
Today is one of those days when I lack the motivation and the self esteem I need just to leave the house. I know I should take a walk but I can't bear for others to see me now. I just want to hide.
How do you cope when you feel powerless to fight?
I've been suffering a viscious circle of depression and anxiety since I was 16. Alhough I have a lot to be thankful for in my life, at the moment I'm going through a bad spell of depression. When I feel depressed like this, my feelings eclipse all the good things in my life so it seems that they are irrelevant. All I can focus on is trying to stop feeling this way. My mind goes into overdrive trying to think my way out of how I feel, which never works. I sometimes stay up all night googling, trying to find information which might help me. Sometimes, I stumble across things which look helpful, like this forum, for instance. It is comforting to know that other people feel the same way and that I'm not alone.
I have tried cognitive behaviour therapy with 2 different therapists and I have been on and off medication for the last 12 years. It seems that I'm better off being on the meds. At least I feel like I can cope with everyday things when I've been taking them. I'm also doing a meditation course at the moment, and though it's very early stages, I think there might be something in it. It takes real discipline and hard work to observe your feelings, rather than being sucked in by them and ruled by them. I'm not even nearly there yet, but I think it's my last option when all else has failed. I have lost faith in therapy and I believe that change really must come from within. It's a lonely journey.
Today is one of those days when I lack the motivation and the self esteem I need just to leave the house. I know I should take a walk but I can't bear for others to see me now. I just want to hide.
How do you cope when you feel powerless to fight?
By:
greysceal
Age:
36-40
,
Female
