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Courage Is The One Thing I Want And The Thing I Lack The Most

I've spent my personal and professional life avoiding responsibility, connection and intimacy.  I shun the spotlight and crave it at the same time.  On the few occasions when I've allowed it to shine on me I quickly do something to move it away, because the unusual feeling is too uncomfortable.  I actually look pretty good on paper, the vital statistics are there, but I still can't believe I'm an adult and have trouble connecting with the world in an appropriate way.  I'll keep asking for help to face the world in an appropriate way, and maybe one day I'll get the help I need.
expo67 expo67 51-55, M 3 Responses Nov 14, 2011

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I saw your question on reasons for living, and thought I would stop by and get a better sense of you through your profile. We are all different and what applies to one person, thier outlook on life, the challenges and handicap<br />
the likes and dislikes, our abilities..... they vary with each of us. All of us face that sense of unease when it comes to change, when it comes to facing our fears. We all cope differently. I can't tell you how to get through it. I can tell you how I deal with these situations. Inspire of my fear, I just jump in. I set aside the self conciousness for a little bit and just do it. When it comes to meeting others, I start with a little small talk. Focus on them and show interest. get them to talk about themselves..... for most folks it's thier favorite topic. Don't feel inferior, cause deep down they really are no different than us (no better - no worse). They put thier pants on the same way we do every <br />
day. When it comes to a big task you are procrastinating on....just jump in and get it over with. It's no different than jumping into the ocean. At first it's cold, but then you get aclimated. Put your fear of what others might think of you aside....just relax and be you. We all have the same hopes and fears. When it comes to looking for a partner, it really is the same thing. Put your fears aside and just do it. Take the plunge and try to get to know others. If it don't work with the first one, it's thier loss not yours. **** em.... Move on to the next one and keep trying. There are others out there just like you and they are just looking for someone. Life is much to precious a gift to squander. Start living it. Put your fears aside cause it's never too late. This sounds like the kind of guy your dad was....am I right? My Dad was always my role model. How about you?

Thank you for taking the time to respond so thoughtfully. My dad was great, but his personality was very different from mine. Trying to replicate his would feel phony, but there are elements of his that I can use in may life.

Have you tried Cognitive Behaviour Therapy? It can be hard work, but also lifechanging, in a good way. If you really want to change.... Meanwhile you will find lots of people here on Ep with similar problems. You are not alone.

I can help you, we'll conquer that fear together