hi, i dont know where to begin but like others i guess starting with my name is a good beginning-- im tori. I dont the root cause to my...faults... maybe it was growing up with a mom who lost her own mother at a young age; the backwardness of me looking after her. Maybe it was the fact that my dad did nothing to help her. That he lives in this house but is nowhere even close to family. He has never said he loves me.. even when i asked him too. Even when i cried for him to say those words.I've had anxiety attacks in public which mortifies me even further and they just get even worse. It's been a year and half now. I thought looking for help might be a good idea... so im starting here: typing these words out and hope that it makes something better. hope.hope.hope. I feel like if i admit that somethings wrong; that i didnt just cut myself for fun, bite myself, bruise myself, starve myself...then maybe i can finallly get better. Maybe i can find a way to breath again and not let myself get out of control. I just want peace of mind. I just want to care about life again.