I Need To Connect With Others Like Me

I am a 44 year old married mom of two and I suffer from anxiety and depression. I believe I had post partum depression when I had my daughter almost 6 years ago. I have been seeing a psychiatrist for 4 or 5 years and have been on a couple of different meds. I started with Lexapro then later changed to Celexa. This past March my anxiety got out of control and my sister recommended Zoloft. My sister is on it (150 mg) and my niece (her daugther) is also on it (200 mg). My brother is taking Zoloft also (200 mg). I believe it is chemical and runs in my family for obvious reasons. My doc. transitioned me from Celexa to Zoloft starting March 20. After seeing my doctor monthly since March 20 I am on 50 mg. of Zoloft. I still feel really bad. I am going to see a therapist for the first time in several years today. I am hoping it helps. My sister tells me I should be on a higher dose of Zoloft. I don't know if I should find another doctor or wait and see what my psych says. I don't see her again for almost 3 weeks. I don't know if I can last that long. I was laid off from my part time job last year so I am home all day. That doesn't help. It seems to make things unbarable. I feel lonely and want to get out of the house but I also feel paralyzed by my anxiety. I feel trapped in my body. I don't have the desire to do anything anymore. Food doesn't interest me and I have always loved to eat. I also have ADD and insomnia. I take Ambien to help me sleep.

I know there are many others out there like me I just haven't been able to connect. I would like to try. Anyone out there care to share advise or thoughts?

wonderwomanh wonderwomanh
41-45, F
3 Responses May 16, 2012

Counceling is great..... It helped me deal with a lot of my issues too. I've currently stopped my counselling sessions as I feel I've hit a bit of a Plato. I was doing exercising too but I've got the flu at the moment so I have to give it a break for now. I have my good days and lots of bad ones too.... On the bad ones im not even motivated to eat half the time.... I feel it's pointless.... It's pretty bad when it gets to that stage. I Wish I could stay positive and appreciate all the good things I have in my life, but my selfishness side of me, chooses to be negative and sad and I hate that as I have so much to live for. Thank you for your prayers and kind words, I hope I'm helping you in some way..... I guess we can all just listen and comfort oneanother.

Hey Sadgirl. Thanks for your comments. I'm so sorry for what you are going through. It has to be so tough to raise your girls by yourself dealing with everything. I just started counseling yesterday. I also started exercising today at the insistence of my therapist. I know it is good for me but I felt like I was going to pass out after 30 minutes. I'm going to try to keep it up though. Prayer also helps me as well. I'm happy to be making new friends here and look forward to sharing in our experiences both up and down together. Are you still in counseling? I think it will be helpful - it can't make it any worse. You need someone to just talk to face to face. It's too bad we all can't come together and meet and talk but I assume we are from all over. Hang in there!

Hi wonderwomann. I understand exactly what ur going through. It's as if your trapped mentally and there's no escape. Iv too tried many antidepressants,,,, they helped a little, but my problems didnt go away, so i tried councelling, and iv even thought about hypnotherapy. My life took a sudden turn when my husband passed away, I'm so afraid of being on my own.....but I can't seem to move forward in any relationship as I struggle with the idea of being part of a blended family,,, the complications it brings. I'm trapped in my own little safety bubble and I'm to afraid to venture out. It's tuff Bringing my kids up one my own and living with the guilt of working and not being there for my girls when they need me. I feel I'm doing everything and I'm not coping too well at all. I just want to be happy within myself, find inner piece....as I'm sure my kids notice my sadness and it can't be healthy for them either :(