Anxiety Rules Me

I've battle social anxiety and social phobias for the last 25 yrs, ever since I was about 12. I have horrible self esteem issues...which in turn cause me to be depressed and frustrated with myself. My High School yrs were awful and I think I never really moved on from them and still feel like that awkward,insecure teenager that nobody liked.

It's affected me most in work environments. I quit my last job I'd been at for a couple yrs back in January of this year and am still unemployed as of now. I thought quitting may help me feel better but it's actually made me feel worse about myself. Again, I feel like a loser. I feel completely uncomfortable in my own skin and I've never really had normal friendships and relationships.

One of the good things I have in my life though is my husband, who is understanding beyond belief. But I feel like I'm letting him down, too. Now that I'm not working we have some money issues and that causes him stress. In turn, that makes me feel worthless and depressed again.
sammy137 sammy137
36-40, F
May 22, 2012