I Decided To Get Help...

Well, everything was just getting to me too much. I have been a mess with marital problems, money problems and concern over my future and my children's future. I totally feel like my life is out of my hands and I have no say. These I believe are all valid reasons to be depressed and have anxiety attacks. But I wouldn't do any thing about it cause I figured "well, anybody would be feeling this way while going through this sh**, so yeah you should feel it...."

The other day I realized I feel like a zombie and am not me anymore. I feel like such a miserable shell of a person, just going through the motions. I can't be this way any more. So for my kids and myself. I decided to get help and have started anti depressants. If I can't leave this marriage and solve any of the other crap, at least I can do this.... I hope I made the right decision, though I can't see making myself and my family suffer w/ this needlessly. I dare not tell my husband though, cause the *** hole he is, would tell me to snap out of it and thinks it's ridiculous to take meds for such a thing as depression. He doesn't believe in counceling either.... oh, well, I don't care what he thinks any more. I've got to do some thing. I have felt like I've been drowning in sorrow n despair.

Anyway, I'm feeling a little better and not having chest pains anymore. I might be a little too mellow though. But it is so nice to not be so worried all the time. Yeah, I'm still worried n concerned and want out, but I'm handling it better.

I'd just like to thank all the friends I have made on here for their kind words and encouragement. It has meant a lot and been so helpful.
blissfulmiss blissfulmiss
36-40, F
12 Responses Aug 8, 2012

Marriage is an artificial institution imposed on humans and is poised for failure. The ultimate recipe of happiness is plenty of sex.

please i need help

Dear blissful
my wife went thro' sveral periods of depreson and at first i behave like your hubby.Now..when I see it coming I give her lots of love and a time off and wonderful sex...no medication...she is still fine!Try get your hubby to contact me and I give him some tips!I still is deeply in love with joyce{wife} after 27yr ...so thre is hope...with GOD'd help!

Listen, the fact that your husband won't stand next to you and help you with your problems is the exact reason that you should leave him. You don't need that at a time like this. A husband should tickle your feet every night, and give you massages, and sing you to sleep. If he was good for you, you would be happy almost all the time. You would FEEL in love. Leave him. You will begin to find yourself. And along with that comes inner peace. There should be no need for pills. If you have to take pills to make you feel sane, then your situation is ****** up. Trust me, a good man will come to take the load off your problems. You're a beautiful woman who needs help. You'll receive it. Promise<3

Thank you... ((hugs))

To me antidepressants would be used to help give you a break from the mental storm you are in. Get counseling and make the counseling beneficial with less agitated mind. Sort things out. You are do for a break, I guess I mean you have to reconsider separation and divorce. Kids are very resilient and if it gets nasty you have to work thru it. My daughter did it with a family lawyer. There is a lot to go thru but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Until then I would avoid any relationship with a man. It could be used against you such as the cause of the breakup and maybe no alimony. Clear your head. Get the counseling and make some decisions.

Hope it works and gives you some peace of mind. And strength to overcome ****.

i can see that amoung some things you are overwhelmed,, and frustrated,, wish i was there to give you time ,,support,, encourgment,, and a hug,, i suspect a little relaxation and a dam good toe-curling ****** wouldnt hurt either,,

I understand were your comming from, But a "valid" reason for deppresion ? Its like saying l went out in the rain with only a T shirt on so that is my valid reason to catch a cold ! Depresion can hit anyone at anytime, hell l know lve suffered it for 30 years plus. Anti depresants are OK if you find the right one that suits you, it may take time to find the right one, for me lm on 45mg of Matizapine it sort of levels me out, yes it has its ups and downs, but its good for me. Please, please dont take this the wrong way, depression is an illness not a reason to be ill depression chooses us we dont choose it. <br />
I wish you the very best & l hope you understand why l had to make this comment :-)

Its like your telling my story. The exception being that I love my wife. She is super mom but has ignored our marriage. I feel you when you felt that "this is just the way it is". I thought that forever and thought with the daily stress I should feel this way. That is not true. Talk to your doctor and give him feedback on the meds he prescribes. Finding the right med/dosage is key and not necessarily permanent. This will help your "sky is falling" thinking become more balanced. More importantly you will begin to gain hope. Once you have hope, the energy and playfulness you had in earlier years we start to show again. Your kids want to see and know that person. Who knows, your husband may respond to it too. I know this post is a little old so I would like to hear how you are doing now once you have some time.

You are doing the right thing for both you and your children taking meds at this difficult time in your life as they will help you cope. Some people are quick to judge as they have no idea how debilitating depression can be. I've been battling with depression for half my life, and had numourous counselling sessions, which helped a little I guess but I probably need to take meds for it. I try my best to battle my demons myself, which is not a good thing. I really wish you all the best...... And happiness. :)

I take antidepressants and sadly they just keep my depression from being unbearable. I read your story about thinking about an affair.<br />
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I personally don't believe in extramarital intercourse. I do however having an online friend with benefits is a good temporary fix. Sex was always my drug of choice and the ******* really take the edge off depression temporarily.<br />
<br />
EP penalizes those who indulge in "mature activities", but for many of us it's therapeutic.

I'm glad you got help. I started anitdepressants about 3 years ago and I weaned off slowly just last year and I am now realizing I still need them. It is REALLY nice being on the meds and feeling "normal" again. whatever normal is anyway. You are seeing SOME kind of light at the end of the tunnel just keep running towards it! I wish you the BEST of luck.