I Decided To Get Help...Well, everything was just getting to me too much. I have been a mess with marital problems, money problems and concern over my future and my children's future. I totally feel like my life is out of my hands and I have no say. These I believe are all valid reasons to be depressed and have anxiety attacks. But I wouldn't do any thing about it cause I figured "well, anybody would be feeling this way while going through this sh**, so yeah you should feel it...."
The other day I realized I feel like a zombie and am not me anymore. I feel like such a miserable shell of a person, just going through the motions. I can't be this way any more. So for my kids and myself. I decided to get help and have started anti depressants. If I can't leave this marriage and solve any of the other crap, at least I can do this.... I hope I made the right decision, though I can't see making myself and my family suffer w/ this needlessly. I dare not tell my husband though, cause the *** hole he is, would tell me to snap out of it and thinks it's ridiculous to take meds for such a thing as depression. He doesn't believe in counceling either.... oh, well, I don't care what he thinks any more. I've got to do some thing. I have felt like I've been drowning in sorrow n despair.
Anyway, I'm feeling a little better and not having chest pains anymore. I might be a little too mellow though. But it is so nice to not be so worried all the time. Yeah, I'm still worried n concerned and want out, but I'm handling it better.
I'd just like to thank all the friends I have made on here for their kind words and encouragement. It has meant a lot and been so helpful.