Sucidal Thoughts

I have a major crush on a teacher, not saying the gender of the teacher or name but im just crushing hard on them and thinking of ways to impress them and stuff.
i cant look them in the eyes when their teaching and get so nervous during presentations, not because im reading to a big audience, but because their listening. i cant focus. and im nervous 24/7 in their class, they can tell im nervous and when im nervous i dont talk just think, negatively. On parents interviews my teacher (crush) kept asking my parents if im okay and that i seem sad and stuff.. im not even good enough for a teacher.. idk what to do, and what i can do..
how do i stop thinking negatively? /: ive been suffering from depression for 3 years now..
whatsnottaken whatsnottaken
18-21
Jan 8, 2013