Running Out Of Options

battled this 15 years, currently in a two year low, nothing seems to be working tis time. tried several ssri and viibryd, Seroquel for sleep, carefully rationed Xanax prescription for when I have to make a dinner, invite guests, attend a meeting, DEAL with life--seem normal.

writer, mom of three (one autistic), formerly "together" suburban woman...now wondering if I will ever feel any form of contentment, comfort or happiness again. I try to hide it from them.

considering self-hospitalization? I can't kill myself b3dause of my kids. the only reason I have to live is my kids. I have no urge to live, all of my interests are not only gone, but I look back in awe that I ever had any at all--I cannot even believe that I was the same person.
restfortheweary restfortheweary
36-40
2 Responses Jan 9, 2013

I took myself to a hospital...i knew i was in trouble..i couldn't deal with life anymore, i had 2 kids depending on me...they went and stayed with their dad for 3 weeks while i 'rested' at a phsych hospital....the BEST thing i ever did for myself.

I was also a suburban mom of 6 children--whom I live for...and a husband
I have battles depression off and on for little over 15 years.
I have been in a major depression for 1 1/2 years
I have been on all the medication you mentioned and more
I have been hopitalized...did help
I am alive just like you
I will stay alive and so will you
I will laugh again and so will you
we will take control of our life again