I Feel Terrible; Anxious, Depressed And Afraid.I started taking Lexapro last Wednesday as I've been struggling with anxiety and depression since this past August. I took Lexapro on two previous occasions, each period for approximately two years. Those two periods the drug worked; the anxiety was lessened, I still felt my feelings and could go on with my life. This time however it seems different. I know it's only been 5-6 days but I don't remember feeling so bad when I started the drug the previous times. I feel anxious with "energy" in my chest area. I can barely do anything; going from room to room, from couch to bed, forcing myself to eat because I know I should. I'm exerting a lot of energy to write this. It's scary.
I called in sick for the one client that I was scheduled to see this morning. That makes me worry because I'm not working enough as it is. I know that it was not a totally irresponsible decision due to the way I'm feeling but it adds to the worry about my life. I want someone to tell me I'll be ok.
I judge and have always judged myself harshly. I've always had difficulty working hard toward a goal and making decision about what I'd like my life to be. I compare myself with others. I'm 43 and don't feel "grown up" as I'm single and haven't had great success in relationships (working on it though) I don't live up to my "potential." I'm a smart, attractive guy but can't get out of my own way. I pay attention to trivial things while people are out there living their lives. I just want to feel better and get on with the business of recovering and building a life.
I know this is all over the place and I haven't said much about my past. I'm having a hard time concentrating.