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My Story

After I had my first son, yes as you could imagine I was in alot of pain. My mental state was fine besides a few baby blue moments. Two months later I became deeply depressed, I knew something was wrong because I was never this sad nor was I ever this anxious. I immediately talked to my OB then furthered it to a therapist. I was put on medication and I have gotten alot better. I get extremely bad towards the beginning of my cycle. My husband is recently out of town for training. My anxiety is through the roof. I get scared what if I hurt dean. What ifs are constant in my life at this moment. I try alot of other things, meditating, reading...anything to keep my mind off of the what ifs. It is hard for me to sit there and tell myself this is just anxiety it will pass. If any of you are goin through this you know. My therapist taught me a trick. I need to act as if I am viewing these irrational thoughts, because it is not my soul, its not my body, its my mind. my brain is not me. My soul is me. I am a loving and caring person who wouldnt hurt anyone. It is still hard. I am taking it day by day , that is all I can possibly do. My husband is my rock. He always keeps me grounded. Then he left and I am all alone. We talk everyday but there is only so much he can do over the phone. I feel everyones pain, I do. If any of you need to vent to me please feel free. I need a person for venting too :o) we can all pull through this you guys. day by day.
AstroBlue AstroBlue 22-25, F Feb 3, 2013

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