I Feel Like Im Crazy

 ...and weak it all started when i was 16 i had a really bad anxiety attack and couldn't stop crying and it led to my depression. i feel like i worry about the most not important things, i get terrified of my future and lets face it im scared of failure and i believe that its crippling me . i wanted to make my family proud of me ...ughh i'm crying while i type this.....  i just dont want to be given up on and i just wish to be happy with myself and not be pathetic an not take myself so seriously.  and it sucks cause i go through this constant roller coaster ride of emotions like i let negativity beat me down ultimately eats me from the inside out leaving me  just a shell of my former self. i look up to my mother all the time but i could never hold a candle to her strength. she's like a lion and im a mouse you know. its sucks because i used to think that i would never go through this, i thought that my emotions were stable. i know that that was the thinking that got me in this situation and my friends all think and my emotions are not real and that im faking to get attention but honestly im SCARED TO DEATH inside. you see i dont want any sympathy i just want to know that im not the only one going through this

 

-Love laci

Lacilove Lacilove
18-21, F
5 Responses Feb 16, 2009

You are not crazy or weak. Anxiety attacks are real and will beat the best of us.

You will make it through this, and you will be stronger after it. That's just how life works.

You can look it in another way:<br />
<br />
If he died for you, then why you allow depression in your life, you know, these are YOUR emotions, you control them, not the opposite. The fact that you think that you cant control it is just your self pity. You can control it, its a FACT :)<br><br><br />
So, if jesus gave you a second chance, then why you want to wast it by depression, enjoy life :) Life is beautiful and amazing, the beauty is in the eyes of people who look at it.

thank you guys for the support and it sucks because i am a christian and i struggle with my emotions and my faith even though i was saved because i do believe that jesus christ died for my sins. im just lost :'(

You know... you have a big part of your mother in you, so, im confident that you can be even stronger than she is :)