I just turned 12. on my birthday for my wish, I wished I was dead. my grandma called me fat. I stared cutting when I was 10. my life is hell someone please tell me how to fix it
jenna050902 jenna050902
18-21, F
4 Responses Aug 16, 2014

It hurts when a grown up you love rips you down. IDK all of what happened, but it sounds like she just wants to hurt you if she said that to your face--which is about *her*, not *you*. I hope you can find another adult and other people in your life who can build you up and help you be the best you can be. If it's not parents or grandparents, it can be a teacher, coach, church leader, aunt, uncle, friend's parent, neighbor, etc.
If you can see a counselor at your school or get your parent or guardian to help you find someone to help you talk about cutting and how to deal with your emotions, it helps a lot. Find someone who isn't judgmental and knows it's hard to be depressed. It can be hard to quit cutting and you need someone who will be sympathetic.
I can't tell you how to fix your life; I still struggle with mine. Like Alynn, I spent a lot of middle school lonely, wishing I was dead, feeling hopeless and ugly. I was no stranger to eating lunch in the girls' room or at an empty table. Alynn has some good suggestions with finding activities you like to do and you will probably also meet people who you connect with and feel good around. You can find ways to love your body, either as it is or safely losing weight.

I know nothing anyone says will suddenly "fix" what is wrong. But maybe this will give you some hope of things changing.
I was bullied all through middle school and used to hide in the bathroom stall during lunch because I had no friends. I hated my life. I wished i was dead all the time. I tried to kill myself around 14. I took pills/cut my self. Horrible attempt lol but still I hated my life.
Then i went into highschool and decided .. well to be honest honey F* everyone. I started doing things i enjoyed - i was a total book nerd and I started volunteering at an animal shelter. My home life was a disaster so i stayed out of the house as much as possible.
High school went by in a flash - i got amazing grades and got a scholarship although issues at home kept me from going to college. All the "pretty girls" that were mean to me- still live at home with their mothers and guess who is fat now ;)
My chub turned into a figure 8 body, while ill never be a skinny mini i LOVE my womanly curves! You will too!
Now I am 24 and most of that is a vague memory to me.. its actually quite hard for me to recall specifics. Because of my learned independence and ability to overcome things most people couldnt- I am now the Vice president of a non for profit at the Age of 24.
The moral of the story is - Pressure Builds Diamonds.
You are unique .. never give up your fight for happiness.

be patient girl.things will get fixed and you wont believe it!

Ignorance will be ur bestfriend