I just so want to write down my feelings because I feel so mixed up.i have fibromyalgia,anxiety and depression,Raynaud's disease and an underactive thyroid. I feel like I've given up on myself.am spending a lonely week on my own without my kids,they are on holiday with their dad. I've hardly seen anyone except today when I went to slimming world group and I wasn't really in the mood for chatting as I was in a lot of pain. I just feel cut off from everyone,but part of me is excited at being so alone it's so weird. I don't have any close friends any more ,my closest friend really upset me so we haven't spoken in ages. I never hear from my three sisters and occasionally I will chat to my brother,they live all over the country and I can't drive very far anymore. I've had a fair bit of counselling but it doesn't take away the illness does it?I guess it helps with coping with it all. I'm also single been divorced for over 12 years and have never found anyone else because my trust was totally broken after my husband went off with someone else.im so totally worried about my future,financially I am struggling,I can't work because of this stupid illness,I used to have a florist shop but I worked my self into the ground. Tried to be superwoman. I do have 3 dogs who are my lifeline,no one could ever understand how important they are to me they literally keep me going,along with my kids of course but my 2 are 15 and 18 now growing up and spend most of their time attached to their laptops.I am proud of them though my daughter got very good results in her A levels and is going onto art college which is what I did funnily enough at that age. I'm just a bit sad that she has hardly contacted me this week I've sent her a few messages on fb but just had one brief one back.i totally get they don't need to be on the phone everyday but I did say to her this week don't forget me please try and get in touch.dont think they realise how lonely I get and how I need to know someone cares. anyway that's me for today please be kind if you reply have had a couple of people have a go at me this week for no reason at all on fb so I decided to come on here for a change .
tillytot42 tillytot42
41-45, F
1 Response Aug 22, 2014

Hello. I recognize you pain and your despair. My physical ailments are a bit different, yet much the same: I have rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, Sjogren's syndrome, etc., etc., etc..
I am so far down in the black pit of depression that I cannot even spot that light that is supposed to mark the end/opening.
I have a loving, physically, emotionally, and even financially, yet I too worry about what tomorrow brings.
Much of the medication that keeps me erect and semi-functional is NOT available without unreasonable co-pays via the USA Government's medicare.
I am bereft for you and will, should you wish, support you from afar to the best of my ability. I understand: I do.