Well, it's four o'clock in the morning and I am online researching how to make this depression go away. I google and google and I find this website and decide to share my story. This is pretty much every night these days.
In March 2006, my friend died in an accident. I was best friends with his sister so I had no time to mourn. Instead, I was there for her. In March 2007 I had my first panic attack. It was terrifying but I think I know what it was about because of the timing. I go to school in Baltimore, MD. I am a sophomore in college. went on Paxil to help relieve these panic attacks but it made me feel dead so I went off and had bad withdrawal symptoms. Then I started feeling sad and doubting everything about myself. I felt like I was hurting inside but I didn't know why. I began to hate my school and my life and waking up in the morning was the worst. I couldn't sleep a ended up going home for a week and missing school. I went on lexapro and at first it helped amazingly. I am also in therapy. Now, I'm sad again. My therapist suggested upping my dose of lexapro to 20 mg but this scares me because I don't want to be feel dead again and have no emotions but at this point it's so ard just to get through the easiest day. Every day feels so long. I miss my old life. Please help...anything...i'm desperate. I've never felt more sad and anxious in my life.