Divorce Is The Devil
Here we go. I have been through way too much, I'm only 15 and I'm depressed, have an eating disorder, have post traumatic stress disorder and many anxiety problems that I don't even know what to think or call them. I act okay on the outside.. but everyday, I just want to cry. Don't get me wrong, I have many moments where I go "Whoa, I really should love my life." In those moments with parents, friends, or even pets. Those moments where you feel happy for that split second and just take it all in. When you want to run and skip down your street at midnight, spoon with your best friend at a sleepover, or laugh histarically with your parents. THOSE are the moments I live for. Anyways, I have told my parents about my depression, and they understand I guess. I don't like to talk to them about it too much, cause I don't want them to feel quilty. They are in the process of a divorce, and my Mom is also just getting sober after hell of 3 years when she was an angry, raging alcoholic. Its too much for me to take in. Frequent anxiety, crying, and over eating occur in my daily life. I have had many panic/anxiety attacks and it emotionally drains me, but how else will I get out my frustration? I saw a therapist once, and I didn't feel comfortable with her. So I just stopped seeing her. I do not attend Al Anon meetings. I'm not ready for that whatsoever. I'm afraid I would freak out in front of everybody and start breaking down crying. Depression is the hardest thing I have ever went through. I'm still going through it. I feel like I have so many things to fix in my life. My relationship with my parents, my parents relationship, my weight, my way of thinking, my personality.. Battling depression on your own sucks. I need help.