For The First Time ..
I think I'm pretty much at the verge of either killing myself , or killing someone else! ..
it's sooo real , and it's frightening ..
I can't control myself .. and they can tell right away I'm somewhere else , only if they knew where that is ! ..
it's the first time I ever felt like this .. I don't know what to do , and what to say , and nobody seem to understand at all , or even is trying to .. so I'm all on my own , like I always was .
I just hope for now , that there will be a time for me , when I can look back at these moments and say smiling :- ( oh , yeah ... I remember that .. ) .