Please Help Because Right Now Any Advice Will Do!!!!

Hey everyone so I’m not part of this group and I’m thinking I need advice and I really think you all might be able to help because you have all been there and at this point I feel at a bit of a loss and I’m worried and don’t know what to do!!

I have a friend who I am extremely worried about!! She has been married for about three years and been together for about 6 years. They were over seas for a couple of years and she’s only recently came back I found out recently that that her and her husband are not happy she’s been back for about four months with their kid. The husband doesn’t lift a finger to help with her or the kid and whenever she asks when he’s coming back he never gives a straight answer which is already setting alarm bells off in my head. she has given him an ultimatum and I’m hoping she sticks to it but I’m not going to force her to do it.

The other thing that has got me overly worried is she’s not happy I can see it she says things that I almost have wonder where they came from I noticed in the last two months that she’s almost projecting her loneliness and unhappiness in her life trying to find something new with somebody else (don’t get me wrong she has never acted this out) she told me just recently that there are times when she regrets having her child and getting married and wishes she never did any of it I can see she not happy and I am more worried about what she isn’t telling me I’ve known this girl since we were 9 and we have been friends ever since she’s my best friend. The reason why I’m worried besides all I’ve mentioned is because though I have never been diagnosed with depression I have been there I know the signs and as close as we are there are things she not going to tell incase it freaks me out and I know this because there are things that I haven’t told her for the exact same reason. I have been going through every single possibility to try and help her and get her to a point where she can make a decision and to a better place but it’s up to her it always will be. I want her to talk to me that will never change but I’m almost scared that I’m not helping her and hurting her more and what worries me more is the stuff she cant tell because of my reaction toward it I’m really worried that she is about to snap and do something really stupid and I feel completely hopeless to stop it.

Because I’ve been in therapy I thought maybe it would be easier for her to speak to someone that wasn’t “involved” or had an “emotional” connection to her but will be honest with her at all times I have been but have always tried to sugar coat everything I’ve said. I mentioned therapy to her recently and said that I would still be here for her and I’d think nothing differently of her and she said she’d think about it. so here’s the thing am I over reacting am I being the over reacting sensitive best friend or is my best friend slipping deeper and deeper into depression before my eyes do I leave the therapy suggestion where it is or do I keep pushing? All I need is advise if you have any anything that might help me get her to a point where I can help her more even if it sounds harsh I don’t care because maybe I need a bit of a *** kicking as well.
Storm25 Storm25
26-30, F
2 Responses Jul 13, 2010

She is going through a very hard time right now, constantly let her know that you are there for her, no one likes to fee as if they are alone. and she may be regretting her child and her marriage now because she is in a dark place where all she can think of is wishing away the pain.I agree with Jim that you shouldn't put down her husband because all that does is make her defensive over him and make her want to stick by his side even more. just get her to vent to you, because it does sound like she isn't totally opening up to you.. and sometimes you don't have to give her advice as a response, you can just be there to listen. for me when i was at my darkest moments in life, i felt better when i just told someone close to me how i felt. i didn't even need advice, because as i was saying my problems outloud i was able to think clearer. and check on her randomly, or even text or call her to say hi and have a friendly convo because that always made me feel loved and appreciated when someone thought of me out of the blue. <br />
i hope i was able to help even a bit.<br />
update us on how your friend is doing, i hope all is gets better. she and her family will be in my prayers, as well as you storm ;)

Hi, you or your friend can always call the Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. Our counselors are available to speak with either of you 24/7.