It Is Not Alway's Good Here On Ep.

I thought I had found an outlet, I thought I had found a place to vent or to ramble off when I am in that dark mood. But in a way I found hurt here. I have met some of the best people I have met in my life time here on EP. I understand that we are faceless, we can speak out our deepest feeling's, fear's, hurt or anger without having to face anyone. We never see each other. I guess that is supposed to be a good thing, but I have found some bad in it also.

Too many time's I find myself sitting here staring at this stupid computer screen in frustration and anger. I am sitting here reading a story or email from one of my friend's and they are hurting, they are lost in a dark valley or walking that lonely road with nobody within mile's and they are crying out and all I can do at that moment is stare at this damned screen. They are my friend, I want to be there, I want to hold them as they cry in the pain that I have felt too many time's. I want to let them know that they are not alone, I want to share their hurt as they have done with me before. And I cant. I had one of my friend's hurting today and I could not help and it made me feel useless as a friend. I sit here and cry for them because that is all I can do. I really wish that I could do more. It hurt's that I cant, and then it turn's to anger. I am sorry my friend that when you need me the most, I cant be there.
Robert1256 Robert1256
51-55, M
20 Responses Jul 30, 2010

I completely understand where you are coming from. But at the moment, just finding this website makes me breathe a sigh of relief. Finally, a place where I can be me and get out my real feelings where hopefully nobody will harshly judge me....a place where others get the depression and sources for it. Just being someone to listen is more than I could ever ask for. :-)

i haven't been on this website for long, but since i have found i have been on it everyday, reading stories or writing my own and i can understand where you are coming from. all of us are alike here, we all know pain, sadness, lonliness, hurt like no others do. i feel comfort knowing that these stories help others to fight thru the dark times and find a way to peace and happiness. i mostly tell others to fight back to take control of their depression or whatever is making them feel sad or down, we all are fighters here, even to just to see the next day.

God Bless you

God Bless you

If that's how it makes you feel it's time to stop the visitrs for a while at least. You must focus on yourself first. You are clearly not strong enough to help others so you need help yourself so you can help. Right? You must always be first priority as, much as you think of others here as your friends, they are not. Just other people like you and I who suffer and scream for help and solutions.<br />
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Learn to detach from them when you respond else you'll be in a padded cell in no time mate.

I was slow on this one and for that I am sorry. Thank You for reading and commenting Chloroform, Shynic, eternalhope, jc2009, readyfordeath and YourVehicle. My uncle say's that he has never met a stranger, just a friend for the first time. I have met many friend's for the first time here, Thank You.

We may be strangers physically, but we are brothers and sisters via a common curse.

10/5/10<br />
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''I am sitting here reading a story or email from one of my friend's and they are hurting, they are lost in a dark valley or walking that lonely road with nobody within mile's and they are crying out and all I can do at that moment is stare at this damned screen.'' <br />
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I see that you understand your friends feelings when they read one of your stories.

Just the fact that you feel so strongly about your friend's pain makes you a wonderful friend. Don't underestimate the importance of the support you offer even through a faceless computer screen. When I hit bottom last weekend, it was my EP friend who got me through it. Just talking to him and knowing he was there to listen was enough.<br />
A hug is definitely wonderful but do realise that your friends do value and treasure the support you offer.

U r a very... how do we say? n touch with ur feelings!

Thank You Shyirishrose, your way with word's touched my heart. As you can read in the responce's I have received there are many on here with a careing heart. I beleive that when you need them the most, God send's you an angel, You will find many angel's here willing to reach out to another even as their own battle rage's. I have found angel's here that have reached out to me in just such a way. I hold each one close to my heart, and you wing's brought you to me also. Welcome to our heart's.

U sound like such a great person. The fact that u care is so important. Its so hard to find a true friend that actualy cares about others. I dont have a way with words,and not bein able to hug or hold the person who is hurting is very frusterating, but sumtimes the best thing to do is just let the person know that u genuinaly care about them. I wish i had a caring friend like u. U are a rare find!

You're a good person Robert.Believe it or not,that quality is medicinal to a friend in need. It's like a light in the window ,on a dreary night. Be available and supportive of those you choose ..Sterling advice won't be ignored .It may help more then you realize. Some friends like calling each other to talk & listen. That takes some trust but it happens. Yes, there are real people behind the screen & they have needs, hopes and personal pain. Then there are the mean members to bump into. You never know what's going to happen next.

I"m sorry to hear your pain. Depression is a very real thing to a lot of people. You should do some research on it and share with others here. Learning why we feel the pain we do based on chemicals in the brain is something that helped me understand and eventually come out of my own depression. Here's some links:<br />
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http://www.nami.org/template.cfm?section=Depression<br />
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This has helped me a lot.

I know what you mean. Its hard sometimes to know what to say to people when theyre hurting, well...it is for me. When your friends are hurting and you go to see them, a hug can express so much more. But sometimes.... like on sites like these you get to tell your story and people can give their honest opinions without fear that you wont like them anymore or you would be angry with them for being honest or having an opinion. You can give comfort without being with someone. Its not the same but it also counts.

Robert i feel your pain. Its so hard to try to be there for someone who thinks they are alone & its even harder when youre the one who is feeling that you are all alone. I have been on both sides of this coin & what i have come to realize on my own journey that i am never alone even when i felt no one was there for me or understood how i was feeling at the time i was far from being alone because the truth is my biggest supporter & my dearest friend is myself & all of the strength i need to get through any obstacle in my life lives within me. Yes sometimes i need a friend for support or advice & i am gratiful for those i can turn to. Likewise i am always here for them & anyone else with advice & support. I let them know how strong wonderful beauitful & empowered they truely are with words of encouragement & they can get through anything with belief in themselves. That belief or gift of empowerment lives in everyone of us & can only be found with love & acceptence of yourself. I wish u best in finding YTS.

Thank each of you for your comment's. I have met and became friend,s with some really great people on here. I heav enjoyed my friendship with each one. You each have been there for me also. I believe that God's send's you just what and who you need at just the right time. I have many Angel's on here that God sent me at just the time I needed them. Fot that I thank God, and I thank you for your friendship and support.

I understand, Robert, but your being there and caring is often all that someone needs. We all do the best we can at any given time. Know that you do help and a lot.

You've always been a bright spot for me and I'm sure many others. You can't save the world, but your heart is huge to hold and help as many as you do when you have your own issues to deal with. I think you are good friend to have here at ep and I am glad that I know you. Angels Around You!!!

Yes, but just being here on the website is comfort enough for the majority of us. Even if you feel like you aren't helping enough, believe me, you are. You are a great person, and thank you for this story :)