No One To Talk Too,

I moved to American, from England over 20 years ago.  Ten years ago my wife got very sick, to help her ment remembering my pass abusive child and has  me changed. Has what happen to  my wife changed her. She is better now and loves work, now she can do it and I am alone a lot with my thouhgts and work life and a different home life that more like my younger days. To a point now. I am more like a housekeeper than a husband, in all its ways. I have not one to chat too, since all my family are in England. No one that really would understand my past, to how I am now. I am married, but the way she changed and is a diabetic and how my abusive childhood left me. I am not sure, what to do and not one around me to bounch things off of, that would understand and would not judge me. I do not want to go back into therapy or go on depressiong pills. So what is left?

 update: I found out what was left, after having words with my wife and having no one to chat too. I try to kill my self, last Wednesday night has a lot hit me on my brithday night and my wife just aet the last nail. So I took pills and then the hospital did there thing to pull me back. It did take some talking to get out of there. But I am getting more help and some one to talk too and hopefully I will not feel so lonely and lost. My wife is not talking to me, but that is common, she has money troubles and I was lot going to help her out. She loved lotto tickets and now she has to work it out. We are supose to be has one, yet she been going on has I am not here and just a bank for her and housekeeper. Now I know, I have to think of me and not her. Its hard to do, for I always say yes. But I need the care and the help, which she does not see. Even after what happen. Iife is a lonely place for some.
intelpavil intelpavil
51-55, M
Aug 1, 2010