My Own Worst Enemy

I've gotten to a point where I don't even feel like I'm alive anymore. It's a game of wake up, go to work, come home tired and waste time until bed or fall asleep and rise repeat. I rarely have the ambition to go try something new or catch up with people because I'm either afraid of situations and people or I'm just too tired. I need goals, but every time I try to sit and think seriously about it I get distracted or so depressed thinking about my current situation I find something else to think about. I don't think I have ever truly respected or taken myself completely serious, that's probably why I'm so afraid of getting involved with people and things. I probably shouldn't expect so much perfection of myself, but every time I make a mistake it makes me fail like more of a failure. Today got so bad after work I kept pondering to myself if I was cut out for my current line of work, then I thought of the alternatives for work or not working at all and it just feels like I'm trapped.. and if I tell my family how I feel they will just give me the "hang in there, you will get through it" talk, which really doesn't help me at all. I know my family has all their own financial and personal struggles and me just giving up will probably be too much of a burden on them. Some days it feels like just doing a normal days work is too hard of a task getting stressed out about everything. What drives me more crazy is I know I'm going to get to the point where I will be questioning why I ever even doubted myself previously only to find the same feelings once again coming back and toppling over what little confidence and happiness I have left. I know just talking about it won't fix everything, I have to a new method to correct this..
Lookingforhappiness Lookingforhappiness
18-21, M
4 Responses Aug 4, 2010

Reading the above comments, it depends on what folks mean by "normal." It's not like you're strange for feeling this way. But probably your feelings are trying to tell you there's something not fitting right in your life these days. I don't recommend ignoring these feelings, since they could be leading you to change some things (job? friends? residence?) so you'll be happier and more productive. Whatever you do, don't start imagining things are hopeless and don't let well-intentioned people tell you to "get over it."

Hey, I don't think it's that normal and I understand you hate those types of reactions! I'm probably younger than you and I've had the same feelings for a long time. It's helps to talk to a professional. The greatest tip I got; keep busy! It might be like you're to tired or to depressed to do stuff or go to your friends but if you keep doing those things I promise you you will feel better. What I also wanted to ask, are you happy with your job? Because it sounds like your not. I always think it's important to be happy with your job. So find out a way to get a job your happy in or maybe study again. I hope my advise can help you. If you need more, I will always be there for you!

As hatshepsut21 said, it's normal, and at your age I would have to agree that you are experiencing growing pains. Life gets harder before it gets relatively easy to handle. I am not saying that you don't have problems that seem like they will never go away, but I am saying, stick it changes..sometimes it changes, over and over again..Life has no constants..If speaking your thoughts here is easier than speaking with your family, hey, I got time to listen.

the pain you're going through is normal! it's called growing pains. As much as you hate failing, it's those failures that put yourself out there so that you get better and better. Why do you want to hate failing? It's okay to fail! It seriously is. Only when you've experienced it you can decide whether you want to wait around for the feeling to subside or actually do something so that you don't feel like you're in a rut for failing. don't worry you'll be alright, just look for that ray of sunshine and hold on to that while you turn those negatives into an opportunity to grow from, all the best!