Under The Surface

I thought the depression was gone but its just under the surface and I have been struggling  to keep it at bay but it requires a lot of effort and I am getting tired.

Depression distorts reality and I am aware of that but in my case, which is common in this economy, reality is worse than any distortion depression could throw at you.  What you therapist could tell you?  Everything is going to be okay? Let me give you this phone number it is a hot-line for suicide prevention?   Take it as a man and don't be a little crying boy? or like mine who told me: Your situation is real and there is nothing you can do to avoid it. Medication  helps up to a point but it does not change reality. 

 I take full responsibility for it and I assume the consequences as a man.  What I am afraid of is the overwhelming shame and the feeling of failure.  I could not handle those feelings twenty years ago and I can't handle them now.
jc2009 jc2009
41-45, M
4 Responses Aug 7, 2010

What shame my friend ? I have no shame over my depression. I didnot drive my truck into that lady killing her, she drove into me. I had done nothing to start this but it came to me anyway. I have no shame and annbody that think's I should can kiss my rosey red behind. Most of the twit's that get on here and tell us to just get over it could not handle what you and I do each and every day. SHAME !!!<br />
No my friend that is the one thing I donot feel. Nor have I failed because each and every day that I am here is a victory that many cant claim because they gave up and ended their life. You have many victory's to claim my friend, many !!!!

jc2009,<br />
<br />
I respect your courage: you are doing what fewer people with depression have the guts to do: you are asking for help<br />
<br />
this shows you might be on your way to recovery... the road of healing goes through many phases until freedom is finally reached... you seem to be crossing a major milestone<br />
<br />
depression is a blessing in disguise - it is a call to awakening <br />
<br />
I myself battled with the dragon of depression for over a decade... and I have tamed it now, it is now a friendly dragon of inner power<br />
<br />
<br />
I am here to tell you, that you can defeat and then tame your dragon too... and turn it into your ally<br />
<br />
email me and I will share with you my story, and reveal to you how I achieved freedom<br />
<br />
respect for your courage!<br />
<br />
email me at theanswerisinthequestion at gmail

theanswerisinthequestion and melfunkshun thanks for the links. me0nothing, sometimes I think the same why bother? Do they really care?

Hey dude... your pain is real, embrace it. But there are groundbreaking new ways for healing the pain.<br />
<br />
Many many more men suffer depression that we think.<br />
<br />
Here are two resources that really helped me:<br />
<br />
http://www.amazon.com/Dont-Want-Talk-About-Overcoming/dp/0684835398/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1281278711&sr=1-1<br />
<br />
http://www.namastepublishing.com/products/dvd/revolutionary-trauma-release-process/978189723<br />
<br />
(also see http://www.traumaprevention.com for the Trauma Release Exercises)<br />
<br />
I really recommend that you do the Trauma Release Exercises (get the DVD)... it worked like a miracle for me, in clearing a depression I was battling with for over a decade.<br />
<br />
Seek and you shall find.<br />
<br />
Best wishes!