Escalating DepressionI recently started having more down moments so my dr increased my prozac from 40 to 50 mg. Since that time my depression has actually gotten worse. There have been some other things happen that may be playing a part, though I'm not really sure what to attribute it to.
I got on depoprovera(birth control) 6 mos ago. It can worsen depression but since I was being treated my dr said it should b ok. Also this summer has been the absolute worst for financial issues. I've even become afraid to get the mail because there's always bad news or a huge bill. I've had to let my home phone & my direct tv go (not a huge deal), my electric came very close to being turned off, my child supports so screwed up I wasn't able to pay the rent one month. A credit card co is garnishing my wages to a tune of $200 each paycheck so that means even LESS money.
My son's school called the states attorney on me cuz he simply wouldn't get up n go to school. My daughters boyfriend broke up w her & she was threatening to cut herself. My son always wants money I don't have n he makes me feel bad ab it. He calls me c*unt when he doesn't get his way he hits walls n slams doors n scares me. My daughter is becoming mouthier by the day n is mean n hateful in the mornings before school so that by the time I get to work I'm in no shape to deal with people. I quit my job cuz I simply couldn't take that bitchass secretary anymore (luckily my boss convinced me to come back or I'd b out on the street). I've been under a tremendous amt of stress n I'm wiggin out. Most days all I wanna do is sleep n I cry over everything. I'm anxious n worried n angry n paranoid n I just don't know what to do. I'm alienating everyone around me n my bf thinks I'm nuts even tho he won't admit it. As u may imagine this is causing all sorts of problems in my life. I can't deal with work, where everyone needs something from me. I can't deal at home where the house is always a mess n nothing ever stays done n the kids are increasingly insubordinate n incorrigable (sons 15 daughters 11). I am having more & more trouble keeping these issues inside n struggle daily with keeping them under wraps so they're not effecting those around me. I just can't keep the mask on anymore. I'm transparent. Its noticeable now. I used to b so good at hiding it, now its too hard. Idk what to do.
trixi 41-45, F 2 Responses 0 Oct 23, 2010