Running Into Walls With Depression

At the age of 21 I was diagnosed with a chemical imbalance.  I learned that there are several family members on my mother's side that have depression.  During the last 20 years I have been on and off my meds.  I had a hard time accepting my disorder and having to take medicine every day.  Since, I haven't taken my meds on an ongoing basis, my depression has became worse.  I was diagnosed with manic-depression 6 years ago after I attempted to take my life.  But, I got on track for awhile by seeing a psychiatrist and taking more meds. Then, got off track because I thought I could function without the pills.  But, I am back on them and staying on them.  But, I still don't think I am where I should be. 

angbaby angbaby
41-45, F
4 Responses Jan 7, 2008

While I'm not bi-polar, I have fought depression for the last 15 years. I've gone thru many stages of on/off/on/off medications. What I didn't know was that each time I quit taking them because I felt better, of course i would regress back into depression, but each time I regressed, it made it harder and harder to find something that would bring me back. The same meds didn't work every time, and if they did, the dosage had to be increased. So, after the many years of self-determining my mental status, I now take 4 meds to control what was once a simple "prozac cure".

Like Ozone said, stopping your medication regimen without doctor input only harms you. Having a more "normal" life comes about through sticking to the plan that person has devised for you.<br />
There's two choices, a functioning life with medication, or unenjoyable chaos without. Speaking personally, I don't like the pill inconvenience, but it's helping me stay employed and able to support my son.

The only thing I'm glad for regarding my bipolar x is that the new husband has pounded it through her ******* thick skull that she needs to stick with her medication regimen.<br />
At least he managed to do what I couldn't.

I've said this several times in response to various people's stories: don't stop taking your meds! The last time I decided that I was going to live without antidepressants or pain medication, I went into the deepest depression of my life. People stop taking their medications with the best of intentions. They want to live a "normal" life like everyone else without the use of drugs. That sounds like a great goal, but I finally realized that, in my case, that is probably not ever going to happen. It sounds like you may have come to the same conclusion. It's nothing to be ashamed of.