Lost And Confused

I stopped talking about my depression a while ago. When I actually built up the strength to tell my family how I was feeling, they asked me why I was so weak and why I couldn't just deal with my problems.  I have thought about suicide so much.  I don't want to die, but I think about it constantly.  My aunt killed herself when I was 3.  My mother said that I am a lot like her which really scares me. 

I constantly think about just up and disappearing.  I wish I were brave enough to.  Instead I do stupid things like spend money that I don't have to try to fill the void, but as I get deeper in debt it just makes me more depressed and I feel trapped.  I don't really feel like there is any solution to my problems.  I have never met anyone who understands what I'm going through.  I even tried therapy before, by the psychologist I was seeing didn't get me at all, as much as she tried.  I don't really know what to do.

justagirl21 justagirl21
22-25, F
5 Responses Oct 17, 2006

when i was a teenager i used to think just like you, but you have to give yourself some information about life, enlarge your thinking capacity, no psychologist will give you what God in christ gives to you freely, his love and life giving will make you the happiest person in the world, you tube tl osborn, Jesus the lord of us all, he made a great investment in your life, to give you all you long for Isa 53:4 Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we thought his punishment was from God, but he was wounded for our wrongs, so we can be made right with god today. .

Keep trying. It can get better. :) Oh...and don't that Mom picked a good comparison?

Sorry to hear your family wasn't supportive. Not enough people realize pain someone feels, or how the words sound on the receiving end.

i understand how you feel when you say your alone, my friends dont understand. but i am lucky my parents do, my dad has depression and so does my grandma. i think i left it to long to do anything about it that i am in a hole and am finding it very difficult to get out. I dont go to school, im not completing my work, i dont find going out fun anymore and i dont want to be around people