My StoryOkay so this will be the second time of me trying to write this. First time, It wouldn't let me make a title?
My story started on Dec.31st when everyone else was celebrating the New Year's Eve, me and my guy of 15 years were calling it quits after issues on both of our parts kept coming up over and over again. Things that weren't being resolved. After many tears, and seeing the issues come up year after year, we agreed to split. It was a friendly split.
I meant for my part to be able to work on my issues and him on his, the original idea was for us to see if after doing so, we would be compatible. However, that didn't turn. =(
For the first month and a half, I thought we were going to get back together,I thought that the way we were confessing how we felt towards each other and how we were proceeding all hinted towareds us moving forward as a couple.
This is where it turns into a talk show of sorts, he didn't make enough money to move out, I don't have a job to move out. Split underneath the same roof with kids. When he started to text other women, he became really withdrawn, snappy and agruementative even with the kids. This caused drama as well as my reaction to him texting other women with us there. Now, granted, I shouldn't have flipped out the way I did either. We're split.
He later found out he has a heart condition, this didn't stop the stress he had at work, nor the stress you get just from being with a person you broke up with.
We were both rough on each other for the month of March. After a certain event took place, things turned around. In April, we laughed, joked, and confessed and forgave each other of the way we acted. We admitted how we should start working on things... then he got a job offer from a friend up North. In SF. Since there were no job offers for him to leave and he really wanted to start working on himself, he left. right around the same time our middle daughter found herself in a stewpot of trouble thanks to Twitter and a nosey mother.
It didn't help with what I was going through, him leaving felt like I had to miss him all over again, on top of our middle daughter acting the way she was. In the end, my family kept me from seeing her because they didn't like me talking to him and staying friends for the sake of our youngest daughter. My family insisted that I was making a bad decision by (see she went to stay with my brother and sister in law on pressure from my mom) pulling her out of school up there and wanting her to be at another school where we lived back with me and her sister. She didn't want to go. So CPS was called and so were the police.
The end results is that she still with them and I no longer wish to have communication with my family. Betrayed my family and losing him, on top of losing my daughter and still unemployed I feel like a country song.
He still says he loves me, misses me while at the same time he admits he is starting to move on. Letting go to him is holding back on communication, texting emailing calling, as he says he wont' be able too when his job starts up.(he is taking on a new position where the systems at present are failing).
I miss him much and I knew he would eventually move on. I'm not at that point yet as he is to start seeing other people. Eventually I will be. ..
Update 11/18/2011 - while the last part sounds like I just went off the deep end of sanity.. Shortly after writing this I do believe.. or before.. not sure when I wrote this.. I quickly got over it. Why? Because when given a second chance to do what you want with your life, the torch has to be put out. You have to move on. You are not expected to or required to be someone else's punching bag. At one time I loved him, do I love him now? Nope. My head was not on straight best way I can describe it. I sound so fuccking depressed though it makes you want to step on a baby penguin huh? lol.
favestril 36-40, F 7 Responses 1 May 14, 2011