I Battle Depression
I just wish i knew why me, why anybody.... we who have depression and that jazz, why are we the ones to suffer?
its just so hard, its horrible - i feel in a really bad place, have i not suffered enough already, i don't think i'm strong enough for this anymore, i told myself i was, but i don't think so. ive been on meds for almost 3yrs now, they work sometimes... i cant remeber when i felt truely happy. i never thought id see my 18th bday well here i am 19 and i just dont know if i'll be strong enough to face anymore, i wish i knew the answers to my problems, i wish i could be fixed.
I'd love to know why i was put on this earth.. all i've ever really known is pain and hurt, was i put on earth for that?? its pure torture and nobody deserves it.. i wish i knew my purpose to life, cause right now i don't seem to have one, i can't see a future i can barely see tomorrow.... i feel so lonely nothings going right and everythings a mess....
i'm an only child, spend alot of time on my own, live with my mum and dad when im not in college - dont get on with my dad, seeing him every day is so stressful, i have to repeat a few exams in august so i mightn't get back into college, when it comes to my love life - its horrible guys only ever use me, and when i think they really do like me, they just turn around and show me how they played me for a fool, i don't like what i see in the mirror and as i always say nobody can love me until i learn to love myself.... but its just so hard.... i have friends, they're good at times but they always manage to let me down and that really hurts and they just dont realise how its effected me... i feel like such a failure at life xx
its just so hard, its horrible - i feel in a really bad place, have i not suffered enough already, i don't think i'm strong enough for this anymore, i told myself i was, but i don't think so. ive been on meds for almost 3yrs now, they work sometimes... i cant remeber when i felt truely happy. i never thought id see my 18th bday well here i am 19 and i just dont know if i'll be strong enough to face anymore, i wish i knew the answers to my problems, i wish i could be fixed.
I'd love to know why i was put on this earth.. all i've ever really known is pain and hurt, was i put on earth for that?? its pure torture and nobody deserves it.. i wish i knew my purpose to life, cause right now i don't seem to have one, i can't see a future i can barely see tomorrow.... i feel so lonely nothings going right and everythings a mess....
i'm an only child, spend alot of time on my own, live with my mum and dad when im not in college - dont get on with my dad, seeing him every day is so stressful, i have to repeat a few exams in august so i mightn't get back into college, when it comes to my love life - its horrible guys only ever use me, and when i think they really do like me, they just turn around and show me how they played me for a fool, i don't like what i see in the mirror and as i always say nobody can love me until i learn to love myself.... but its just so hard.... i have friends, they're good at times but they always manage to let me down and that really hurts and they just dont realise how its effected me... i feel like such a failure at life xx
By:
kazinz
Age:
18-21
,
Female
